Hey there, dropping by for the BvB review battle on the forums! :)
I love Rolf/Luna - I think they're such a sweet ship, with so much potential, but no one ever writes them, so I was so excited to see you had one up, so here I am!
Can I just say that Luna is one of the HP characters who scares me the most to write, because she's so hard to get right, you know, and yet you do her so well. It's amazing - really, it is. I love how even though your presenting her from Rolf's pov, you've captured her dreaminess and her wisp-like nature and how she's so clever underneath it all, even if she misses some things which are obvious to others. She's so like she is in canon it's uncanny.
Rolf is amazing, too. I really, really like how he doesn't like her at the beginning - how he doesn't like her being there, he doesn't know why she's there, and he just wants her to go away. It's a completely natural reaction to finding someone random is in your space, you know, and it makes so much sense in the story's context. Plus, it makes things more interesting between them! I love how Rolf is ambitious, too - like he wants to make his own name, instead of riding on his grandfather's coattails, so to speak. It's actually a fairly common trait, so I like that he has it!
Mahaha, bird attack! I have to admit that that made me laugh, though it probably wasn't meant to. But it was just the juxtaposition of the sweet little birds, and then them attacking Rolf like that...
Your writing is great in this, too - it flows so wonderfully and your word choice is great. Only watch out for extraneous adverbs - less is more ;) But yeah, apart from that little thing, it's really lovely. I love the way you incorporated the quote, too - it's a great quote, and a really interesting way of using it! :)
I really liked reading this - it's a great, fun read! I'm so happy I stopped by! :)
Author's Response: Hi Aph!
Thanks for picking this story! I really hated it when I posted it, but the reviews have been really positive, so I think I will finish writing it.
I did want people to laugh a little bit with the bird attack. I mean, Luna AND Rolf are both so clueless that it was kind of funny that everything went so horribly wrong. But I don't think Rolf thought it was funny!
I'm glad you liked the way I used the quote. I actually am incorporating a different part of the quote into each chapter of the story.