Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Infinityx says:
Hello Lindsey! I'm back for the review you requested. I was going to review this again anyway, then realized that you'd requested, and got right to it. I'll be back to review the rest later. :)

So, this chapter was really intense. Ron is such an idiot. Your characterizations are pretty great. It's just like him to blabber on and then realize that he said something wrong. He seems really selfish as well, but I'll just attribute it to his tiny emotional range.

You've written their fight really well, too. It's like Hermione to not stand for something like that. Maybe Ron's telling the truth and doesn't want to be with Lavender, but he needs to learn when to draw the line.

Ginny's hotheadedness was a nice touch to complete the picture, as well as Harry's brotherly nature toward Hermione. So characterizations are good here. :)

So, Draco makes an appearance. I'm glad that you haven't made him out to be a completely sweet person like a lot of fics do when they have a reformed Draco in them. A relationship takes a lot of time, especially when there's such bad history between the people. I suggest you take things slow on that account as the story progresses. You've done a good job so far. Make sure their two worlds coincide slowly, not collide and just become an unbelievable happy ending.

I do hope Ron and Hermione works things out, and Ron grows up and cuts ties with Lavender. She's just bad news there, and I'm sure he really loves Hermione.

There are quite a few spelling errors and tense changes. At times you used 'is', and at times 'was'. I know I already suggested getting a beta to go over it, but I also know how difficult it is to have one person stick through the entire fic. What I suggest is PMing the Quick Betas to go over single chapters and seeing if they'd be willing to continue later.

Also, if you're editing a bit by yourself while waiting for a beta, here's what I suggest. Read through the fic backwards. It won't make sense, but that way you can check for spelling errors. I do that when I proofread and it really helps. Then you can check for tense discontinuities. See which tense you started with, and scan through to make sure it's the same one throughout. Reading the fic aloud also helps to figure out where there are awkward phrasings or run-ons.

Your plot is great though, and can head in so many wonderful directions! Good luck, and I'll be back to review some more! I hope this review was helpful, and not too harsh. *hug*


Author's Response: Hey Erin,
I didn't think it was harsh at all it was very helpful.
I'm so glad you came by again to read it:) I'm excited for you to read more and in the mean time I'll make some changes. Thank you sooo much!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 699
Submit Report: