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Review:teh tarik says:
Holy wow, Dan. What a beginning!

It's been a long time since I read such a gripping first chapter. I love what you've done here: you've created a shockingly awful character, and you've expanded on canon stuff (the whole Durmstrang alumni supporting Voldemort and moving to the UK was brilliant), and you've also written some pretty terrific and suspenseful action moments. The whole twist with Mary Goldsmith just made my jaw drop, and before that, when I was reading about Kaspar Imperius-ing her to kneel and unbuttoning his pants and all that, I was cringing, preparing for the worst. Initially I was also a bit shocked that the Aurors would use an innocent Muggle as bait. But you took that moment, turned it on itself and make things so much more awesome. The Portkey wine bottle breaking into shards which still glow blue was inspired. Gah, I'm glad Kaspar got caught.

As mentioned earlier, I'm so pleased to see how much detail you've put in, in terms of expanding on the greater wizarding world. I'm always interested in reading about other countries in the wizarding world, and how Voldemort's reign in Britain would have affected them, if they were affected at all. And currently, I'm completely buying into your idea that Dark wizard supporters from other countries would have flocked to Britain to participate in the carnage.

I can't wait to read the next part of this! Your writing is gritty, fast, exciting and vivid; this was an absolute pleasure to read.

-teh

Author's Response: Hi, teh! It always makes my day when I see you stop by!

So based on the reviews so far, it seems as though many people like Kaspar better than some of characters that I **want** them to like. Fascinating... Maybe Kaspar needs his own short story. I basically just wanted him to be this brooding, dangerous, angry, amoral villain. Somebody that you could enjoy rooting against. Sadly, this is his last appearance. He spends the rest of the story in a Ministry holding cell.

Then there's Mary, my damsel-in-not-as-much-distress-as-it-might-seem. You'll find out who she is and why she was there very soon.

I'm not sure whether the broken portkey would have taken Kaspar back to Bavaria, but I think it would have taken him **somewhere**. Maybe about halfway across the English Channel. That seems like a good spot to me. ;)

I always feel like a story needs a lot of detail if you're going to sell the premise effectively. The reader needs to be right there, in the thick of things, side by side with the characters.

Chapter two is up! I'm looking forward to seeing what you think. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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