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Review:momotwins says:
So I've read this twice now, between validating and review swapping, and I think you've got a real talent. Your writing is very natural, your descriptions are vivid and I like your word choices. It's a short prologue, but I think it's just long enough - anything more would have been too sad! Flow and pacing are good. Lucy's seeming emotional detachment is interesting, though she seems so focused on everything physical (the heat of the room, her uncomfortable dress, etc) that I think she's deflecting. I think eventually it will hit her and her reaction will be much worse for having been put off, you know?

The only issue I noticed grammatically was that you don't always capitalize "Mum" or "Dad" when they're being used as proper nouns. So good job on that, really excellent writing!

I'm not sure where the story's going from here, but I think you're off to a great start. I'm interested to see how you handle the characters after this. :)

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it, really it means the world! I've read quite a bit of your writing previously (before I had an account), and your work is definitely a big inspiration for me, so such a lovely review coming from you is completely indescribable! Yeah, know, I think you're right about the reaction- it's definitely going to build up.
Thank you for the tip about the Mum and Dad thing! I actually never thought of the words as proper nouns for some reason so I appreciate you pointing it out haha.
Thank you so much again for the review, it really means the world! I'll go and review something of yours asap!


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