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Review:HEG says:
I've alawys wanted to read this but never actually got round to it. This chapter was very action packed, exciting and revealing and I know that I won't be able to stop reading this. I like the way that you've sort of changed things up however, I'm sure you didn't mention in your summary that Sirius Black was still alvive did you? Before I start, I'd just like to point out a few errors which are easy to fix so don't worry! When you use italics to put emphasis on a word, you need to make sure that you have included a space because you have put 'thissomething' and 'likethat'.

Let's begin on the characterisation shall we? I love the way that you have included an OC for Harry's daughters and sons because it's nice to hear something new and I paticularly like Devlin so far :). From what I've read, I'm picturing him as quite a confident and brave boy unlike like Albus is portrayed to be. I really enjoyed the part where he denyed Voldemort to scream. I relate to Devlin. They way that he listens to all his mother's and father's advice and it almost 'saves his life' kind of is sort of a moral. The Death Eater seemed a bit clueless but I am assuming that that was because he wasn't in Voldemort's inner circle.

Moving on to the emotions and detail. The detail in the first half remarkably stood out. Especially in the very first section. I really enjoyed the descriptions. I don't think you need work on that. And I don't think you need work on your emotions either. I felt Devlin's fear and pain in the story and I felt Harry's anger of his son being lost too. That was awsome.

Now the plot/plot arc. I like the way you've denied Jk Rowling's epilogue and went off and created a sequel of your own. I think that it is very effective because although the facts aren't true, you have still made it realistic and believable to read. Voldemort has lived on ... hmm ... this could cause some trouble. I wonder if he'll die in this book. I think that the way that Voldemort would want Harry POtter's son is realistic. And Draco! I can't belive that he's still a Death Eateer! I suppose that is just because he is afraid of the truth and dying. The Pensive is also very cute. The dialogue is absolutly perfect and astonishingly well written.
When the Death Eater was teling Harry about Devlin and how he could learn everything by just what people said and how that the Dark Lord was impressed, I felt so proud. I'm loving your OC GingeredTea! (Hey that ryhmes!)The cliffhanger had me on the edge of my seat.

I'll be back!


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