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Review:Akussa says:
Hello again!

I'm back for yet another review. I felt very surprised by the time that seems to have past since last chapter. Is it a couple days? Weeks? It's very strange how I cannot pinpoint this and it tickles me!!!

That friend is way too much into her birthday! Her friends are good to put up with it :D Once again I felt like there were way too many characters that weren't necessary to the scene (Briana, Dominique and even Caleb didn't bring much to the scene and could have been left out in order to put more of an emphasis on the other characters). That being said, the interaction with the Potter boys really made me laugh. It's so typical fo boys to show off their muscles when they work outside...

Two little things I noticed through my read that I want to share with you. I want to reming you that they are my opinions and therefor, you should be the one to decide wether you change it or not!!!
Regarding the very last sentence of this chapter, I know it's a weird comment but I don't feel like it works. I mean technically, she hasn't got herself into anything yet. Something more along the lines of "what is happening to me?" would be more appropriate for the situation, I think.

"...Rose came up with sensible ideas as she's the sensible one..."; it's kind of redundant

A good chapter overall, I like how Alyssa is developing and I very much like Albus. Do they make a good fit? Not so far in my mind so it'll be interesting to see how you will make it all work out!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Haha, it isn't that long actually. The second chapter is set on 16th July and this one is set 25th July, so nine days since her terrible date with Terry the Creep. And if it tickles you about the first chapter, well that's set 8th July. Most of the chapters are set within days/weeks of each other.

Ayli is crazy that's for sure and way into her birthday. The only reason I see her like this is because she didn't have such a good 16th or 18th birthdays (As they're the big important ones) and wanted to make up for it for her 19th. They probably were too many once again but I wanted them introduced before the next chapter (which is Ayli's birthday party) and to set up their dynamics as friends too.
Being neighbours with the Potter boys certainly has some perks :p

At the moment they aren't a good fit, Alyssa is still stuck in her past seeing him as the boy next door whilst Albus obviously has other feelings (Which haven't yet come out).

Reading back over, you're right because as you said she isn't technically into any thng yet.

Thanks again for pointing that out, it's been changed slightly and is in the queue again. Thanks for reading and reviewing too.

-Potterfan310


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