Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, Beth! You make Review Tag fun and rewarding, you know that? There's no substitute for reading a story you really like.

You definitely kept Al's character fresh and complex and interesting in this chapter. He's telling Scorpius what Scorpius needs to hear, but he's also sort of immature and almost petulant where Harry is concerned. I like the idea of Albus as the "favorite son" who's been pushed hard to live up to his father's legacy for his entire life. On the one hand, it seems like he's excelled, but on the other it's clearly an impossible task no matter how well he performs. He's caught, and he behaves accordingly. Nice writing there.

I loved the description of the two days that Rose and Scorpius spend together. It all seemed so calm and low-stress and just... normal. I think witches and wizards, especially ones with turbulent histories, need a good dose of normal every so often. Aww, he kissed her good night! And he's such a gentleman that it sounds like he even asked first.

"Harry's" Auror training program fit his character to a T. Kinder, gentler, more team-oriented but still with the ultimate goal in mind. I don't think I could recommend a single thing to be different. I'm really curious to see who Albus and Scorpius are chosen to mentor. That relationship could be a little touch-and-go for both of them.

The only thing in this chapter that I felt a little iffy about was the idea that Harry would choose to call out Albus's disrespect and lack of attentiveness by dueling him in front of the entire room. To me, that didn't feel quite like Harry, at least not the way that he'd choose to solve a problem. The idea that he would deliberately call that much attention to Albus, when we know that he hates having attention drawn to himself, was a little off. Once the duel got going, I could definitely see the old Harry coming out. He is an incredibly competitive guy, and there was no way he was going to allow himself to lose to his son. Good thing Scorpius stepped in when he did.

"So, are you going to give me detention and make me clean the trophy room? Al's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Or will I have to do that better than everyone else as well? Nothing I do is ever good enough for you!" -- This was definitely Al at his most petulant and childish. The guy is a third year Auror trainee. One would expect that he would have learned by this point that life isn't always fair. Isn't even usually fair when your last name is Potter. These Next Gen kids are so spoiled compared to their parents. ;)

S.N.A.K.E. Exams. Good one!

Ah, and then we come to the real crux of the issue. It seems that Harry has to constantly push Albus harder because Albus is just that good. It's nice to see father and son leave this chapter with something of an understanding.

Ha! Al throws Scorpius right under the bus without even missing a beat. I do hope he manages to untie his tongue and have a good conversation with Rose.

Great chapter! Looking forward to the next!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

I'm sorry that I haven't responded to this review until now (Bad Beth - BAD!), but I wanted to take my time with it and I have a silly rule that I have to respond to them in the order that I get them...

Al is a great friend to Scorpius, but he definitely has a bit of a temper. He really wants to be an auror - for himself, but he is realizing he will always be in Harry's shadow. It puts him in a tight spot. We will also see in the future that Al is ultra-protective of Rose.

I wanted Rose and Scorpius to have a few normal days - as you put it. But I also wanted it to seem like the start of their relationship might be a little too easy. (Insert evil laugh here.)

I'm glad that you mentioned about the next gen kids being spoiled. I am sort of working off of the premise that Harry, Ron and Hermione didn't discuss the war with their kids a whole lot. They wanted to move on and, in the process, chose (not necessarily on purpose) to shield their kids from the gory details. I thought about this a lot and I think that Harry especially would try to do this - to put it behind him. His one hold out is that he insists all the Weasley/Potter kids know decent defense skills in case of an attack.

As far as Harry dueling Albus: I figured that he would start off the program with some sort of a demonstration, his temper got the best of him - and he was embarrassed enough with Al (who is supposed to be acting like a leader) that he snapped a bit and wanted to teach a lesson. So, instead of a simple few dueling moves and tips - he chose to duel Albus.

I am rather proud of the S.N.A.K.E.S. exams. Thanks!

~Beth


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 772
Submit Report: