FIRST REVIEW. HA NADIA. :p
SIAN. WHAT are you doing to me? I checked your page the minute I got onto the laptop, and I was pleased to see that it had been validated. Now I'm just going to stalk your page till the next chapter comes out.
I don't even know where to start, honestly. I just feel like there's so much I want to say, but suddenly, I don't even know how. This one shot is so unique. I haven't read a story focused on this theme before. Like many others, I'm of the view that she died after the bite. But this was such a fresh take on what happened after Greyback bit her and I'm so happy you decided to write this because I think I needed to read something like this. It's so unique. Speaking of him, the flashback was AMAZING. I love the repetition!
I felt so sorry for Lavender. You captured her helplessness and desperation well. Even when she slowly started breaking out of her shell. I just felt like she was gripped with the sense of having fallen through a never ending black hole.
I have to say that you had me gripped onto this from the first word. I love how she described herself in third person, making it sound incredibly heart breaking, and then admitting to the fact that it was her. It just made the whole thing more impacting, and I think that it was beautifully done.
The flow and narration was so powerful. It held my attention and drew me in. I got so lost in this. It left this heavy feeling in my heart. And I just kept feeling so bad for Lavender.
I love the writing. It's so descriptive, vivid. The comparisons are beautiful and they evoked strong imagery. Your stories are always well written and your descriptions just seem to improve with each story story you write. You're going to be invincible:p (YES. I wanted to say that!)
I really enjoy reading things with a psychological spin on them. Her mindset after the war is really interesting here and it makes you think and guess about what it could possibly be. Her absolute refusal to accept anyone's help is believable and completely in line with how you've written her. She seems so obstinate and I think that she truly felt broken. Dealing with war when you're seventeen cannot be easy, and just because she came out of it alive, it doesn't mean that she immediately felt liberated from the stress, apprehension and grief that war imposes. It's a lot to deal with and it affect different people differently.
I often think of Lavender as a silly character. I've often laughed at her expense and there a ton of jokes and funny situations to write about when it comes to her and Ron. However, I love how you completely turned that image of her around. This is such an intense character study of her and it really sucked me in for a while there and got me thinking in her shoes. It must be difficult to be known as a superficial air-head when there's so much more beneath the surface. I think you wrote that side of her so well. It's unexplored, and come to think of it, she was brave. I'm sure she had so much more in terms of personality than what we seem to think.
Most of all, I loved how much emotion this story packed. I was in awe of how beautiful the writing is. At the same time, I felt so much sorrow for Lavender. I also love the hopeful note you ended on. It shows that things are slowly looking up for her and it leaved the writer feeling slight fresh and relived, I guess. I was drowning in her grief till that last part. Charlie seems so cute and I think that the entire part was so realistic. Younger siblings just bring out sides of their older siblings that nobody else can and you really tapped into that fantastic idea and wrote a really sweet ending. I actually sat still for a couple of second with a smile fixed on my lips.
I cannot tell you how much I adored the first para. It was such a unique way of introducing a character, and your descriptions and similes were so amazing. Sometimes you find overused phrases and comparisons, but that didn't happen with yours at all! And that stands for the whole story. It was a pleasant change and it really left me appreciating your thought process.
I like how you wrote the relationships she shares with people. I think that her frustration towards herself comes out when she's interacting with her family. I loved the part with Parvati in between. It really was like a defining moment for her because I think that somehow she still relates to Parvati better than anybody else in the world. You also made it really evident that her parents care for her a lot. Their worry is palpable.
I'm glad that she started coming out of her shell though. You wrote that bit so well. It was gradually and really, really subtle. She did very small and tiny things to break out of it, but they really mattered. I think this is what made it believable. When someone is suffering from something like this, it would be very difficult for them to take a step towards rectifying the problem. It's obviously not going to happen overnight or even within a few days. I certainly think that your account of things is very realistic and it is directly proportional to how depressed she was.
As I said. Her behaviour was very interesting to read about. I have several things to quote, but this review box won't let me because I only have 746 characters left. I'll leave you with this.
Your story was a very different take on a character who is often perceived as being silly. It was very, very interesting to read. It was powerful and well written and I think you might just win this challenge ;) I'll be on the look out for the second chapter. Sorry about all the random rambling. I STILL haven't honestly said half the things I wanted to say, and I've had to delete a bit of this already :/
If you can't tell, I really enjoyed it and I think MOST of this rambling comes from the fact that I've missed you, and your writing far too much. I'm glad I read this :) It's the first thing I've read of yours in ages. Sorry :(
Author's Response: Adi! Wow, this review is absolutely amazing and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond! I hope I can do it justice!
Haha, thank you for the first review!
Nooo, I can't bear the thought that Lavender died after being bitten by Greyback because it makes me too sad, and since it never says in the books I'm going to keep her alive in every story that I write about this era ;) I do feel like she'd have suffered a lot though, which is why I wrote this. I'm so pleased you liked the flashback though, and thought it was powerful!
I didn't give Lavender an easy time of it here, not at all, and I felt sorry for her too. The technique I tried of starting in third and switching to first was something new for me but I'm glad it worked!
Aw, Adi! You're so kind to me - far too complimentary, actually, as I know I've got a long way to go with my writing and lots of improvements to make!
It was really interesting to write this different spin on Lavender's character. She is often quite silly and annoying in stories so I enjoyed showing a different side to her; after the way she fought in the war I think she must have been stronger than people imagine. But surviving that took a lot out of her, and the depression she was battling afterwards made her turn away from other people's help.
I'm really glad that you liked the relationships I wrote for Lavender here. Charlie was a character who wrote and created himself and I always imagine the friendship between Lavender and Parvati being really strong.
Thank you SO much for this AMAZING review, Adi. It means so much and I'm still in awe of it, I'm so happy you liked this chapter! ♥