Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:jessicalorewrites says:
Hey! I love this story, it's sounding like it's going to shape up to be very original. First off can I just point out ScoRose? SO CUTE! That's a nice addition and ties in nicely how Cassie comes to meet Molly again. I really like the spin you put on her job because it's not often that a) stories are set in St Mungo's and b) have someone with a less than appealing job. And not only that, but she's not the typical boring receptionist - there seems to be a lot of different, interesting sides to her current job. One problem I'd like to point out is that near the start you have Jessie ask "ETA?". Using my A* deduction skills I'm presuming you meant EAT (Estimated Arrival Time)? Though you might want to change that to E.A.T thinking about it, aha. Also, would St Mungo's really hire a six month pregnant girl knowing she'd have to go on maternity leave soon? Nevertheless, I think Cass is a very believable character and her reasoning for not talking to Molly for so long is very sound. I'm interested to see how the Cass/Ryan relationship expands and also to see whether he steps up and becomes a good dad to Gabriella (who is the cutest child ever, okay)! The flow is pretty good in general although I would recommend trying to write a few longer paragraphs in between dialogues etc to break it up a little. You could do this by describing things a little more - the flat, for example, or St Mungo's. I wouldn't say that the introduction to James is too soon because he was only in the chapter for a short amount of time. It was good of you to not make them go out for coffee yet because then I might feel like it was a little rushed. I'm looking forward to reading Chapter 2, which I am going to do sooon!

- Jess xo

Author's Response: Hi!

I could hardly leave them out, I mean OPT! Plus it was a good way for Molly to hear that Cassie was around.

I think that was one of the things I loved about the challenege in which I wrote this for, that the majority of the story had to be set there. It's probably an unloved job to read about in fics which is why I wanted her to do it. Plus it's a bit fancy with differnet jobs like you said.

ETA - Estimated Time of Arrival. I think it could just be a thing I where I'm from but you can do it both ways. Thank you for pointing it out though!

I think you're right in having the doubt, in my weird little world they were desperate for a new receptionist and well Cassie was ideal as she was willing to learn on the job as well as being close to Healers/medical items. I like to think that St. Mungo's may have a childcare area for those who there with small children, an addition after the war like the maternity wards. So whilst Cassie was desperate for a job and St. Mungo's looking to hire they did, Cassie was off in the last month of her pregnancy and then for five months after that. She would often take Gabriella with her sometimes whilst she was behind the desk as it was easier and cheaper than the childcare. Plus Mo would always be up for covering Cassie's shifts if needs be.

Her relationship with Ryan plays a big part in the whole not speaking to friends. And their relationship itself is interesting! As for Ryan being a good dad and stepping up, only time will tell. Gabriella is certainly cute!! I love writing her :)

Thank you! I shall definitely being going over this and doing more descriptions. Sometimes I tend to think that I over do them and then others I don't do enough!

Cass off putting her coffee with him was always going to happen but I'm glad his introduction seems okay.

Thank you *hugs*

Soph xx

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 888
Submit Report: