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Review:Rumpelstiltskin says:
Plot/plot arch: The pure amount of tension from the very beginning was absolutely hilarious (though my sense of humor is a little off). I just think that the high tempers floating around from lack of sleep and stress made for some terrific dialogue and it was highly amusing for me. The list of suspects is very peculiar, but Neville's right: they have to examine both sides of who possibly killed the victim in order to be fair AND to ensure that they are covering all areas of the investigation. For all they know, it COULD have been Cho. Actually, with her association with Malfoy that we'd leared about in the last chapter and her appearance on the suspect list, I'll keep her in the back of my mind ;).

Characterization: Harry -- I love Harry's drive in this. It seems as though he cannot rest, nor can he allow his team to rest, until he's figured this case out. He's definitely a leader, and you've captured that nicely in this (not only in handling Ron and Neville, but also with his confidence with the press).

Detail: While there wasn't as much information in this chapter as others, I feel as though this was a transitional chapter. Therefore, it's being used to elapse time and unimportant events quickly, thus not requiring an overload of information, so that we can delve deeper into the investigation. Transitional chapters can be fun and effective techniques and I think you nailed this.

Style: You've been using transitional phrases throughout the story to effectively show either elapsed time or a change in setting (meanwhile, fifteen minutes later, upon their return, and etc.). It's not an unusual technique, but it is highly effective and I thought I'd mention it!

Notes/other: I'm very excited to see how this case pans out! I suppose that I can do that by continuing to read!


Author's Response: First off, you are definitely right about this being transitional. I pretty much intended it to lay out the framework for the remainder of the investigation (though I won't spoil whether anyone on the lists is actually even involved).

I also did want to inject some levity with the beginning, while emphasizing Harry's drive so I'm glad that came through!

Thanks again for the spectacularly thoughtful and detailed review! You are awesome! And you should definitely keep're almost halfway there!

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