Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Veritaserum27 says:
Hi Dan,

Review Tag!

Well I finally drummed up the courage to read and review one of your stories. I'm a relatively new member and I felt a little intimidated.

This was absolutely fantastic. Writing the dark characters is usually done in two versions - completely going against their canon qualities or amplifying them to the extreme. You've created a superb balance of making Draco both believable and sympathetic. At the same time, you've weaved elements of a possible love interest. I've always wanted to know how Draco and Astoria got together!

As far as Astoria goes, we don't know much about her personality from the books, but I love that you've made her down to earth and unflappable. (Possibly just what Draco needs right now?) I also love the little touches - like where it seemed she was reading his mind about the three D's of apparation and added the fourth D.

I only have one (very small) suggestion. The following line:

"For reasons that Draco couldn't begin to comprehend, he needed her to understand. Because maybe if she can understand then so can I."

The rest of the story is written in the third person and if Draco is speaking to himself, it might read easier if that last part were either in italics or single 'quotes.' Totally not a big deal, but it caught my attention - probably because the rest of the piece is so flawless.

Thanks for sharing your gift with the rest of the world. You really have a great talent!

Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response: Hi, there!

Apologies, it has taken an embarrassingly long time to respond to this.

Aww, you shouldn't feel intimidated. I would say that you're actually quite good at this.

I'm really glad you thought Draco was balanced, because that was the big thing that I was going for all throughout this story. I agree with you: most stories either white-wash Draco into this misunderstood guy who never had a chance because of his father or they try to turn him into some sort of arch villain. The Draco I remember from the books was neither. He was an arrogant, mean, spoiled rich kid who suddenly found himself thrust into a world that was much more "real" than he was ready for. I think he had to grow up almost overnight after his father was sent to Azkaban. But I wanted to be sure to preserve some of that arrogance and prejudice because I can't imagine that they ever completely went away.

I always worry that Astoria comes off as too perfect in this chapter. You'll see some of her flaws later on, but here we're seeing her through Draco's inebriated eyes, so it's all in sort of a soft focus.

A lot of people have commented on that line. I think I should at least italicize the last sentence so it's clear that you're "hearing" Draco's inner thoughts.

Thank you so much for all of the kind words, and thanks for reading and reviewing!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 285
Submit Report: