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Review:TidalDragon says:
Howdy! Dropping by as part of my quest to R&R all the Golden Paw nominees before voting! Since yours is a longer story, I'm not sure I'll be able to review every chapter, but I'll give it my level best.

In terms of the plot of this chapter, you successfully set up the basic idea you're going for with a new Dark Lord. So prime objective accomplished.

The characterizations and mechanics were mixed for me. I thought Lucius was probably the most well done, but I think they were all inhibited to an extent by the fact that this chapter was so dialogue-driven. As a general rule, I find that stories are most effective when they have a nice balance between description, internal thoughts, and dialogue (though obviously there are certain scenes or chapters that may be more impactful by taking a skewed approach). Here I just didn't think the imbalance quite worked as it made the progression feel a bit rushed and the characters (even though it's primarily just Draco here) seem less developed than I'd like.

See you next chapter!

Author's Response: Hiya! Wow, that's a big goal. Good luck to you! That's fine if you don't, I know it's a lot longer than the others.

Thank you for the CC. Once I have finished this I will do a Big Edit and I'll be sure to remember this.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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