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Review:TidalDragon says:
Hello again!

For this particular chapter, the biggest thing I noticed was that the dialogue really seemed to dominate more than usual. We got occasional internal thoughts or emotion language cast in, but by-and-large, such things were much more sparse, and the description not nearly as vivid as in chapters past. This was true of the previous chapter, albeit to a lesser extent, but the descriptions and powerful language you used to set the tone and mood so well in the first two chapters feel a long way away. I think the story would really benefit from taking the time to bring them all the way back.

In terms of plot, things are developing at a solid pace and flowing pretty well. I am following the story easily and not feeling overwhelmed with content and storylines or new developments, but at the same time not feeling like you're plodding along either. I think you could probably stand to inject a bit more detail, as I mentioned, but by and large you're doing well in these areas.

The characterizations were decent in this chapter. I definitely understand Dominique having mixed thoughts and volatile emotions in the immediate aftermath of what happened. I also appreciate Teddy's anger and intensity, but him running hot and cold didn't seem to fit as much for me as it did for Dominique. One minute he was ready to fight, the next he was trying to calm Dominique down and it just seemed a bit inconsistent at times.

Looking forward to the final two chapters you have up!

Author's Response: Hello again! Yes there was a lot more dialogue in this chapter but it had to be done since it was necessary for the scene. The first chapter was a prologue of sorts and it set the tone for the story thus more description there. But I'll try to bring back the imagery and descriptions if I can =)

I am glad you are liking the plot and the pace seems okay.

I'll look into the inconsistency as well.

Thanks =)


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