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Review:TidalDragon says:
Alrighty, so diving right in, I thought the moments between Fleur and Dominique stood out as positives, along with the interaction between Dominique and Teddy.

In terms of areas for improvement, I think it would have been useful to look at Fleur's speech patterns from the books and try to mirror them better. I can understand the patterns being less pronounced over time, since she would presumably have lived in the U.K. with Bill for quite some time now and slightly adjusted, but I think it would have made that characterization more nuanced to have them manifest in some way (other than the French words).

Also (and this is really more minor), I felt the part after the transition from Teddy and Dom's spat to the questioning of the attack was a bit rushed - rather than Dominique speaking consistently in larger paragraphs, I think two characters who know one another so well would most likely have exhibited more balance and back-and-forth, which would have made that portion feel a bit less jumbled as well.

At any rate, the plot is remaining interesting with the new developments you are inserting and it is mostly flowing well on the whole.

See you next chapter!

Author's Response: I am pleased you liked the moments between Fleur and Dominique, and Teddy/Dom.
I figured Fleur's accent would have faded over time but I'll see if I can add more of the touches to her dialogues.
I'll work on the dialogues between Teddy/Dom.

Thanks =)


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