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Review:TidalDragon says:
Hello again!

This was a very interesting chapter. When I first read the revelation about Dominique being unable to have children, my gut reactions was - WHAT?! But look at Teddy! And then you followed it up with a very logical well-reasoned explanation. So that was very good.

On the flip side, I think that news and the reactions to it are probably the some of the most difficult things to possibly write. That also makes it hard to comment on because I don't know your personal experience with it. I will leave it at this - I think I wanted a bit more of Dominique's internal thoughts. This was a huge moment - the type that gives you license to make time stand still - and I think you could have massively magnified it by doing so. Drilling in on the smallest details that Dominique notices, her thoughts, her emotions, her reactions to simple things like light and the voices talking to her. I thought it was largely handled appropriately, but I thought those kind of touches could have made it that much more impactful.

We didn't really see enough of Fleur and Victoire here to comment too much on their characterization, but I thought Teddy was solid and the scene you wrote between he and Dominique that represented the beginning of the chapter was well done. Some of Teddy's dialogue seemed overly complex in terms of vocabulary, but perhaps that's an aspect of his character you're laying out.

All in all a good chapter that certainly leaves a big cliffhanger to transition to the next one.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

I am glad the explanation made sense. Thank you for the CC as well, I'll try to focus more on her inner thoughts and reactions if I edit =)

Yeah I didn't bring much of Fleur and Victoire in this but Teddy is a huge part of the whole scene in the story so I'm glad you liked his characterisation. I'll look into the dialogue as well.

Thanks =)


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