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Review:Pixileanin says:
Very intriguing start to the story! I see you have more reviews on the first chapter than you do on the second, so I'm going to kind of combine both chapters here, if you don't mind terribly.

I like how you bring us straight into the thick of the action in this chapter and it's not one of those "set up" things, where nothing significant happens. Draco pledges his son to the new Dark Lord, whoever that happens to be, and then his father dies, both pretty significant things, I'd say. And then he doesn't discuss it with Scorpius. It's kind of sad that he's following in his family's footsteps, but I suppose that he doesn't know any better. He still has that drive to keep his family safe, the thing that drove his mother, and since they are (were) both still under the same roof with him, I doubt he'd have grown past that much, sad as it is. The only thing that concerns me is Draco's characterization, that he'd automatically assume from a letter that this new person isn't some idiot posing as a new Dark Lord. I'd think he'd be at least suspicious of him and show some reserve until he's seen some proof.

I like the banter between the first years, or at least I'm assuming first years on the train. the twins sound excited, and I love how you turned the "are you a Muggle" question into something that they needed to ask, regarding Quidditch. Very nice!

"Oh look, I got mum." Haha. That was great.

Oh, and there's a lot of excitement on the train as well! You're really packing in the action here. It certainly raises questions about who is trying to harm the students and why, and what the new mark with the eye is.

You've got some really good stuff going on here. These were fun two chapters to read!

Author's Response: Hallo! I don't mind at all!

It is pretty sad. Thanks for that CC on Draco, I'll remember that in the future and maybe add it in when I do my Big Edit.

Yes they're first years. Thanks!

It's not Action/Adventure for nothing! :D

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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