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Review:Rumpelstiltskin says:
Hey there! I'm here with a challenge review :).

Plot/plot arch: The introduction was lovely, as it established a detailed scene of what would become the murder scene. It also introduced the pure-blood family, the Shafiq family, and established a possible murder motive. There were three people in the alcove: a man and a woman -- appearing to be possible lovers -- and a third person, who is the murderer. That's a lot to do in slightly over 10 lines, so great job with that! Ah, then we move on to some Black family ancestors -- that's always fun. After some brief and effective character introductions, so that we know what's going on and who everyone is, we discover that Orla's been attacked. It also seems as though Hoyt has been the one murdered in that library alcove. Oh, what fun! I can't wait to see what happens next!

Characterization: Arcturus -- the oldest brother, meaning he is the heir to the Black nobility. From what I can gather, he seems like a properly-raised pureblood and a decent person. Regulus -- as the younger brother, he seems a bit more freely expressive. I believe it was from Arcturus' perspective that we learn that the younger sibling is 'too charming for his own good' (I may be paraphrasing). I do love the brotherly love between the two! Lycoris -- oh, the poor sister, being over-protected by her brothers. These three siblings appear to have a very tight relationship, which I love.

Detail: You did an amazing job at providing enough information about the characters and the situation so that I understood what was going on where and with whom, but you've also left out just enough so that I'm absolutely puzzled by the murder. Who did it? Which is exactly what I am supposed to be asking at this point. Fantastic job.

Style: You've definitely given this the murder-mystery feel! I also think you've captured the dialogue and language of the time period for an upper-class family (or two families, in this case).

Notes/other: At any rate, this was a fantastic start. There's so much potential and I can't wait to see where you're going to take this!

-Rumpel

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