Hey there, Kiana! Been seeing this one-shot around for a while, and finally grabbed a chance to read it now! (It's so much more interesting than an Equity essay! :P)
Okay, so Sirius is honestly one of my favourite characters - even if I don't like him all that much as a person - so I was so excited to see this was all based on him! And around Azkaban to... it's a really dark part of his life - probably the darkest - and it's so fascinating! :) (Also, the banner is stunning. Wow)
So yeah, this is basically everything I love in a one-shot, haha. Well, almost :P
I loved how you characterised Sirius. How he is obsessive over it enough to count the days, perhaps as an effort to remember - like a constant reminder that he's not guilty - and how fixed he is on the idea that he didn't kill them, that it was Pettigrew. It's like a kind of mantra, you know, and I love the repetition of it - you used it so well! :) The use of lost and found and winning was so great too - I loved the dual meaning of 'lost' and how you used both meanings simultaneously throughout the story - James and Lily were lost, Sirius had lost, and then he was winning. It was very clever!
I felt kinda sorry for Sirius in there, you know? Like, he's desperately trying not to go mad and all he's got to hang onto is, really, the thought that he's innocent and ideas of revenge on Wormtail for setting him up for the fall in the first place and killing James and Lily. It's an incredibly sad, haunting thing, and I thought you did so well so convey it!
Little comment about laughing when Bella hallucinates Voldemort, nice :P I can imagine it would be funny at first... but it's really kinda creepy as well O.o
I love how there was this subtle sense of anger and hatred and maybe-not-quite-sane-ness (you know what I mean! :P) underneath the whole thing, particularly at the end. I've never thought Sirius was wholly there, certainly not after Azkaban, and I liked how you sort of showed him shutting down and his whole world forming solely around Harry and how he was innocent and how he was going to get revenge on Wormtail. It's a really sad, scary thought, you know?
Your writing, of course, was so lovely! The repetition was great, and the descriptions and flow and style and all were gorgeous. Really, really nice! :)
Good luck in the Anniversary Writing thing (I can't remember if it's a competition or not? O.o)!
Author's Response: Hi Laura, haha, I do the same when I'm meant to be working as HPFF is suddenly even more amazing!
Whoo, for Sirius, I think that's why I loved writing this because the Sirius before and after Azkaban is so different I really wanted to see why he changed and the one-shot was born :P Haha, yes Laura/envoi really is amazing!
I'm so glad that you liked Sirius, as I've never written a character in such a bad state as he was so, so it was so much fun to explore. I'm glad you liked the focus on James and Lily too, because in the books it always seemed a bit obsessional so I imagined it really manifested itself here. Haha, I have to credit Coldplay for giving me that idea, because initially it was just going to be about James and Lily and then I listened and it was just like oh yeahhh!
I know, he really is in a desperate state here you just want to run away with him to save him from the trauma of all of this. I'm so glad it was ok though, as I wasn't sure whether I was over doing the melodrama of it all or not :P
Yes, I think the treatment he faced from his parents too didn't help much either with his mental state, so it's a wonder that he didn't actually go and murder all those people then because you wouldn't be surprised if he didn't given all that he went through. It really is sad and scary because at that point you really don't know where Sirius is going to go next.
Thanks for such an amazing review, Laura it really put a smile on my face and sorry for taking a while to get this. I can't remember if it was one either but I guess we'll see :P