Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:TidalDragon says:
Well well. Seems I was wrong about Pollux, seeing as he's dead. Though perhaps the same could've been said about Orion...

This chapter, again including another death seemed to return you a bit to your strengths of earlier with the description of the various people and their actions in the room prior to Pollux's death being well done. This time though you also mixed it with some solidly done internal thoughts AND dialogue. It all came together nicely and you tied it up with a surprising little second death - that of Wipsy. Thankfully that death explains why Lucius would serve drinks, so I'll forget that bit.

I'm not sure if you are truly planning to wrap this up in the next three chapters, but in terms of where we are right now and the speed at which you've progressed to this point, I have to say I'd be surprised if you could do so while writing with the same effectiveness you have thus far AND avoiding it feeling rushed. Though you are obviously a very talented writer, so I suppose if anyone could, it would perhaps be you.

Nevertheless, to summarize my comments on the story as a whole: generally excellent descriptions and well-done, differentiable characterizations. Some of the dialogue is hit or miss, but it is largely good and you do a very nice job developing the overall mystery, including various sub-plots as potential answers or red herrings throughout, though the pace does suffer in a couple spots for it. In total, I have very much enjoyed reading it though and I think you're doing an excellent job with a complicated story about a very complicated family, so bravo!

Hope the reviews helped! Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions.

Author's Response: Haha, sorry about that! :P It wasn't, er, totally intentional? But yes, lots more suspicious characters to get through, lol.

Thank you! :) I'm so happy you think it's coming together - if only for this chapter, haha! I did enjoy kinda comparing it back to the beginning, and reflecting what happened then to now - it was strangely nice to write. Yeah, Lucius serving drinks is perhaps a little out of character, but Wipsy's gone missing, or so they think at that point, so it was up to him... I liked adding in Wipsy, as well, it is important, but I also wanted to include the house-elves in this a bit more...

Yeah, it's a bit hard to write. I've got it all planned out how I'm going to do it, so hopefully it won't feel too rushed, but we'll see when we get there, I suppose! Thanks so much for that - it's a really lovely compliment! :)

Thank you so much - I'm so glad you've enjoyed reading this and you thing it's going well as a whole. It's been so exciting to write and so difficult as well, because it's completely unlike anything I've written before, so to hear that it's actually working is so, so great to hear! :)

Thank you so much for the brilliant reviews - they've been amazing and so helpful - genuinely - so thank you! :)

Aph xx


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 316
Submit Report: