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Review:adluvshp says:
Hello! Here for your requested review from the forums. Apologies for the delay!

This was an interesting chapter. I like your plot of Mae having no memories and how you've focused on it from the first chapter itself. It sets a premise for the rest of the story and creates an intriguing and suspenseful tone which I like. The theme definitely kept me interested and then the way your narrative unfolded also held my interest, so good going there.

Your descriptions are also good, giving brief insight into Mae's mind and slowly revealing to the readers her 'backstory'. I also enjoyed the description of the woman and the ending interaction as it was also presented very mysteriously which I really liked. The CC I'd give you here is to perhaps add in some more description of the setting and the people - not directly but indirectly - of how Mae looks, of how her family looks, how her surroundings appear to be so we can visualise it all. Don't make it to the point that it becomes bland but you can mix it in with her thoughts and the dialogue/narrative. That is only a suggestion as I think it would be a nice touch, especially for a prologue =)

The grammar over all was fine. There were a few small errors here and there, for instance one place where Mae was referred to as "he" instead of "she" but nothing too major. I think you can fix them with a thorough re-read. Besides that, this flowed smoothly and made for an engaging read.

The only other CC, if you can call it that, I'd give you is to adjust the formatting, particularly the spacing of this chapter, as it is too far spaced and provides slight discomfort while reading.

Apart from that, this is all good and I quite like it. Your story seems refreshing and interesting, and I'd like to read more of Mae and how her story unfolds. Good job!

Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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