Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:oldershouldknowbetter says:
"Ah I knew I wasn't a good actor. I keep trying to stop feeling this way about her but I just don't want to and it's really hard-"

"Yeah we know just how hard it is, Jay. The other day when you were wearing tight jeans and Sarah brushed a leaf off your jacket it really didn't leave anything to the imagination for us." Becky interrupted calmly. Dom laughed. The two of them seemed to have come up to us very quietly.

I like how you use Dom and Becky. They are almost background characters, or should I say that they are secondary characters whose story happens almost in the background. How you use them here though is in the classic sense of comic relief. Like the comicals Shakespeare employs (such as in Much Ado About Nothing or the gravedigger scene in Hamlet). They traipse on into a scene, say something witty - diffusing the tension - then can say something poignant or to the point - to throw the focus straight back onto the protagonists. Such as her later remark -
"Oh yeah, because a damp dark tunnel is every girl's dream." Becky said sarcastically.

From Rose - 'Everywhere I looked it seemed it wasn't just me who was lying, either to themselves or to everyone else.' A fairly accurate summation of the story so far ;)

Rose does the math and realises something is off. James admits she's correct and tells her about the ending of their relationship. She knows the end end, but the lead-up where Sarah supposedly falls out of love with James she does not. So it would appear that Sarah fell out of love with James and had to end it. Hmm, I cannot talk more about this here without massive spoilers, I'll talk more about it in a later review.

We have a nice glimpse into pre-pregnancy Rose. Such a help-mate to everyone - she is in so many ways the glue that binds the pack together. She comforts Sarah without judging even though Sarah tells her she is to blame for the break up - "I had to do it." She squeaked. But her main concern is the comfort of James and here we see how important Rose is, her strength and intelligence. He can let down any macho barriers around Rose and let her see him for what he is.

Rose (about Scorpius)- 'I knew he was still pissed off about the kiss, but as far as I'm concerned nothing happened.' OK, you really were oblivious to what he meant by the kiss - oh well, guess we'll just have to read more story before you fully comprehend his and your feelings (as if that's a hardship having to read more of this excellent story).

Rose has helped the pack and now it is time for the pack to help her. They almost have to drag her along to get her first scan. It's like she was pretending that it wasn't really happening if there wasn't official proof? I think this is exactly what she was thinking.

The exchanges between the pack members going to the scan are great - just the right amount of comedy, very enjoyable. James realises his role perfectly - Rose doesn't need a leader now making it all seem too serious, what she needs is to lighten her burden, and James does this perfectly. Albus is serious enough for them all and James lets him take charge (it's a great, subtle bit of older-brother-empowering-younger-brother). James does become serious when he has to though how long he can stay serious ("Nah. Been busy poking alligators in the eye and setting fire to sloths, you know how it is.") is anyone's guess.

So an adult finally knows.
It's good to see that Madam Pomfrey has finally retired. But I would have thought that the headmaster/headmistress would have had to be informed of the pregnancy. It's a different take on the situation than other stories but I can understand the logic and more importantly the story logic behind your decision not to have the head involved yet. Especially what she has to do once she does find out in a later chapter.

Sarah, James and Scorpius will all be with her. Scorpius holds her hand giving her all the support he can.

Welcome distractions have prevented Castle Rose bowing under the weight of her burden ...
when he is needed though, the Knight of the Rose will always stand by her.

Author's Response: Thanks, I try to make Dom and Becky significant but not invasive. They are always there, but not always lending any real depth to the story, until another character bounces off them.

Rose doing the maths and figuring out James heartbreak is important here, but for the sake of spoilers, I think it's best not to touch upon it. I do look forward to the point where you do get into it though!

Rose is pushed out of her denial by the pack. There was no scan = there was no reality, you are dead right. But she gets hit in the face with the reality, and it comes as another blow to her. James passes on an opportunity to be a leader and instead acts as a cousin and friend... I wanted to emphasise that his position in the pack is so strong that he can pass his torch to Albus for a while and just be one of the guys before snapping back into his position.

The Knight of the Rose can swallow his feelings for a while. Castle Rose needs strength and he cannot deny her anything.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 128
Submit Report: