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Review:academica says:
Hey Jenna! Finally here for the Review Exchange :)

I love your opening, especially those last couple of lines that suggest we are living in the times of something dark, perhaps Voldemort's reign. It's sort of ironic that the old man chooses to soothe his grandchildren's fears by telling them a magnificent tale of a horror further away. I liked the broad, elegant strokes with which you set the scene, painting the picture of a fierce, mythical beast and the man bent on slaying it.

You surprised me at a number of points in this chapter, all of which helped to keep the story lively and entertaining. For example, I was surprised by the assertion that the beast wasn't naturally fierce (although the narrator's logic totally makes sense) and the revelation that Peakes was a vegetarian! Very interesting :)

I was also glad to see us brought back down to canon reality there at the end, because my first thought when the narrator tried to help the Muggles calm down and right themselves was that he was going to get in trouble for helping them with magical means. (That's a bit cynical, isn't it? Haha. Oh, well.)

This seems like a great start to your short story. As always, I appreciate the illumination of minor characters and side storylines, and I have to say that the mood here reminded me of the exciting first few chapters of Goblet of Fire. It's too bad I won't have time to read further for this month's exchange. Nice work!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda! :)

I'm pleased you liked the opening! And yes, I agree about his choice of story - he's a bit out of practice with what is appropriate to talk about in front of children. I really enjoyed writing this, and the first chapter flowed especially smoothly, so it's great to hear you liked the initial introductions.

I'm glad this story was surprising! It's full of little twists and the style of narration helped quite a bit with that. The beast not being naturally fierce was an important clue to the story so I'm pleased it stood out to you.

Haha! The Ministry never seem to change, even three hundred years ago. You were right to be suspicious.

I'm glad you liked the minor characters, and that it reminded you of the opening chapters of GoF. Thank you so much for the lovely review! :)


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