Carlotta makes me increasingly happier. She knows how to hold her own with James, but more importantly, she knows how to hold her own with LILY. o.o Impressive work, girl. She just never misses a beat, does she?
Lily rocks it. I'm so proud of her and her deviant ways. She's a girl who knows the worth of a good reputation--which is to abuse it to your advantage and stay another night in town for a girl's night out. Team Lily Trouble Potter all the way. James is such the typical older brother, feeling the need to intervene at the scent of an impending smack down. Silly James. I'm sure Lily could've held her own. Maybe. Ahem.
James/Carlotta/Lily banter is adorable. Carla always seems to get 'em with the promise and/or deliverance of food, doesn't she? The grilling session was a bit nerve-wracking, though. Not that Carlotta intentionally meant to grill Lily, but from the reader's I-know-something-you-don't-know perspective, it's tense to think that Lily could slip up and blow the whole "I BE MUGGLE" facade. And of course, a break in the consistency would just make James look like a liar, not a wizard. I like that you're showing, more and more, just how tough a game James is playing, trying to date a Muggle. I agree with Lily on this one: it does seem a bit unfair to both James and Carlotta. But-but I like Carlotta! I DON'T CARE, IT'S WORTH IT.
Sigh. This tension between James and Papa Potter make me sad almost as much as James and Lily interactions make me happy. Why such animosity? Why such distance? I am staying tuned for more clues on why things are so snappity between the two.
Lolz, Ryan you goon. He WOULD ruin the perfect cover. If you're going to misbehave, Ryan, at least lean how to cover your tracks like a pro. Gosh.
Clearly, Lily is the the team's good luck charm. I mean, an abysmal practice the day before, and then she shows up on the sidelines and BAM! Excellent round of training. My highly scientific theory says that Lily made all the difference, and she therefore ought to be toted around to all the team's games. End of theory.
Fun, fun, fun read. Your dialogue is always such a treat: snap, wit, and plot progression. What more could a gal ask for? Looking forward to more!
Author's Response: I think Carlotta has to be able to hold her own with Lily if she wants to stick around! Her sass makes her one of my favourite characters to write, if not THE favourite. Along with Lily of course.
Harry/James ISSUES to be explored in detail! You may have to wait a bit. (Or rather, as it's already posted, read on a bit.)
Thanks for the comment on the dialogue! I think it's my strongest element of my writing - my description rather lacks in comparison at times! Thanks for the lovely review :)