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Review:TidalDragon says:
Alright! So this chapter was primarily a treat! We got to see your insight into the kind of interaction that I'm sure went on behind the scenes of the books ALL the time - Dumbledore and McGonagall. We also got tidbits of your insight into how you think McGonagall may have been at school with the rule-breaking comment and of course her concerns, which gave us a glimpse past McGonagall's often stern visage.

The only thing I found slightly off was Dumbledore's dialogue. He started off a bit weaker before you seemed to hit your stride with him (I think he's probably very difficult to get right). One thing that really helped was the return of your delightful descriptions, which helped to put the right polish on the words that he was saying. The biggest thing that continued to stick for me throughout however was his use of contractions. Throughout the books, Dumbledore uses contractions with incredible rarity. He obviously prides himself on being well-spoken, which is probably a reason for this as contractions are, by definition, shortcuts. The use of contractions also undermines a bit of Dumbledore's stately presence, so I'd cut down on use of them with him going forward.

See you next chapter!

Author's Response: Part of my NaNo goal is to get caught up on these, so I've told myself I have to respond to at least one a night before I get to write. They are such amazing reviews and I've let them sit for far too long. That is not acceptable.

I'm glad you thought this chapter was a treat! That's always so nice to hear! I really did have fun writing this scene between McGonagall and Dumbledore, even though it was hard. I have a soft spot for McGonagall. Maybe it's the teacher in me, but I love the chance to show she's a human underneath those teacher's robes.

Dumbledore is hard to write. I know I do tend to write him with a bit more of a childlike streak than many do. I am well aware that's not how he really his, but more an image he cultivates...maybe how he wishes he could be? And you're right about the contractions. I never noticed before, but I went and looked it up in the books after this review and I completely see what you mean. I guess I just felt too much like I was writing Data when I didn't use them and so changed it. I will make sure to correct that in the future! Thanks for the catch!

Thanks again! These reviews are the best!


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