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Review:TidalDragon says:
Whoo!

So many characterizations to get down in this chapter! I thought on the whole you did a good job with them though. Fred and George in particular were good and you showed Ginny's cleverly-mischievous side nicely with the ghoul bit (even if it turned out not to work).

As far as the plot goes, I noticed two major things. First, Sadie is actually incapable of speech. That's kind of a neat (in a tragic, horrible way) limitation to give a character and I'm very interested to see how it plays out. Second, Sadie is related to Harry. I'll confess I'm not a big fan of this, primarily because I feel like long-lost relatives are kind of an overused device in AU fics. Naturally though, I always bear with them to see how they play out, primarily because I have a lot of grand ideas (in my humble opinion) that tread "typical" AU ground. So I'm also interested to see how that aspect develops.

In terms of the writing itself, this was the first chapter that was really driven by dialogue, and despite the number of people present, I was pleased you didn't fall into the trap of trying to make them all talk a lot. I think just about all of them got a word in at least, but you didn't force it or overdo it.

At the same time, I feel like you may want to take a look at the specific language used by some of the characters so there's a little more differentiation. This came across well with Fred and George, Hermione, and to a lesser extent Mrs. Weasley. It may prove not to be a problem as things evolve, but I'd just be careful that the speech each character uses doesn't become so similar that almost any character could deliver another character's line. Just a thought.

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