Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:HEG says:
Hi randomwriter! I'm here for our review swap :D

Ok so this title certainly got me hooked. What's going to happen in this? I was thinking to myself. In actaul fact, this was not what I was expecting. What I was expecting was a series of letters that Albus was recieving. Clearly, I was wrong.

I really feeel sorry for Albus, he is so shy and nervous and I really love the way you've described him as his face lighting whenever someone started talking about Hogwarts just to fit in but insde he was longing. That was good the way Harry could recognise it without Albus telling him or something. I like the way Harry was sort of worrying about Albus. Is he already at Hogwarts? I sort of got the idea that he was from this "But there was something about Albus' entry into this alluring world" that he was already at Hogwarts but if he IS, then how could he still be worried about being sorted into Slytherin if he has already been sorted?

I really enjoyed the part where Harry reads the diary to Snape. he must feel so bad/sad him not knowing hardly anything about his own mother besides Voldemort killed her and she has a horrible sister called Petunia. You really caught his emotion well there. Oooh! The last sentance! You've made me want to read the next chapter now!

Just a small mistake I spotted. You have put:

"How typical!" harry exclaimed

It should be this:

"How typical!" Harry exclaimed

You missed out the capital letter on Harry.

All in all this was a good start to your story. Keep up the good work!

HEG

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 435
Submit Report: