Hi, Sam! I really need to finish this story, not least because there's a sequel already waiting for me.
But it was Theo who said no, so he has to listen. People rarely cross Kieron, people never cross Theodore. -- Aww, Theo already being the good grandfather/father-in-law-ish. After all of the abuse I heaped on the poor guy at the end of Detox -- and how well you took it all -- I feel the need to cheer for him.
Wow. I remember visiting the nursery for the first time after my boys were born. They were a little early, but thankfully they only spent a couple of hours in the nursery before coming back to our room. I remember that feeling of trepidation, not wanting to ask any questions or even think about anything too much just in case something turned out to be wrong. In a weird way, asking about it or thinking about it would almost make you feel responsible for it. Weird memories...
"What does the monitor say?" I ask hesitantly. I'm not so sure I want to know, but I feel like I need to know. -- This. This, exactly.
I really liked the conversation between Albus and Kieron. You nailed the whole subtlety of being a guy with guy friends: you can want to mock another guy, frighten him, even hit him without actually hating him. It's just a guy thing. We only recently developed opposable thumbs. And it's totally possible to know that another guy is the best thing in the world for a girl that you care about but still feel upset at the idea of him touching her. ;)
Lavender??? Whoa! This is a huge revelation. I can definitely see the version of her that Theo's describing. Too upset over the loss of her outer beauty to be confident enough to present herself and her relationship with Theo to the outside world.
Ah, so there is a moral to this story. Theo has a lot of foresight. He knows what will make Lexi -- and Albus -- happy in the near term, but he really wants more than that for the two of them. He wants them to be happy together for the long run, the way that he never was with Daphne.
Scorpius frowns. "I can't believe my girlfriend's nephew is my cousin." -- Ah, the world of tightly interrelated pureblood families. Why is Draco so opposed to this relationship? Or is that a topic for a different story?
Next comes Rose with her own confession. It's so easy to see it, the way that you've laid it out. Rose and Albus were both bookish, quite children. Both seemed like over-thinkers. Both horribly worried about how they would fit in. I'm sure that Rose took great comfort in knowing her favorite cousin was going to be going through school with her, and Albus probably felt the same until he laid eyes on Lexi. Life is harsh, and Rose's response was definitely harsh. She did pick an odd time to confess, I'd say, but big moments in life tend to bring out these moments of clarity in people.
A few small typos I noticed while reading:
He looks down at the cot and starts whispering, like the baby can really hear him, and for some reason that makes me want to laugh hysterically - off all the things to do in this situation. -- of all the things...
"Keep talking, Hugo, and I will make sit outside on your own," Emmett warns. -- I will make you sit...
Beautiful chapter. You filled it with an amazing amount of feelings and revelations and your characters overcoming some of their half-truths and demons. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Author's Response: Dan! Hey, Dan!
Sometimes he says bad things and sometimes he says good things. This is definitely one of the good things; he welcomes the cheer. He doesn't get many from me either. :P
The nursery was one of those time when I really had to think of Albus' character to know how to write it, as I've never been in the situation myself. He wouldn't want to ask questions in case things went wrong. He'd feel exactly what you said.
Guys are more natural for me to write than girls, I think because I know more guys than girls. Like, my nan has ten grandkids, including me - there's three girls out of them. And then there's the rest of my family and my friends. So, I'm glad I was able to portray their relationship well.
Lavender. Yes. That was after a very long, thought out talk with Tammi over character development for Theo. All these little triggers create a very big, very bad (depending on how you look at it) outcome that you will start to see in the sequel.
Oh, there's always a moral to Theo's stories. There has to be a reason, otherwise he won't care enough to tell you about it.
Draco is not opposed, but because there's not exactly a good friendship between Harry and Draco Scorpius is afraid he will be. Draco already knows, Astoria told him as soon as she knew. :P
Rose and Albus, they were the ones each other went to; they saw things differently but their approaches to it were the same and they understood each other more. But it all changed when he saw Lexi again and realized she was... nice. :P Telling her story now was sort of forced upon her because of Will and the baby being born, making everything real. If Will hadn't talked to her, the secret probably would have been buried, never talked about - Rose and Lexi were both happy with that. But Will is a good person.
I'll get to the typos. I'm in the process of editing the story. :)
Thank you so much for leaving a review, Dan!