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Review:Penelope Inkwell says:
So, for a while as I was reading this, I totally thought her name was Anaxanandra Snyder. I have a long history of having sort of weird name-dyslexia when I read. My family has made fun of me for this for years. It’s so bad that, when I was in second grade, I named my dog after a book character. Years later I picked the book up off my shelf and realized that I had missed a letter in the name, which had turned it into something completely different. And this happens all the time. No other problems with reading--just names. I realized a few chapters ago that it was Anaxandra, which has a much better ring to it. But I just now realized that her surname is Synder, which fits her unusual name much better than Snyder. Also, Snyder kept making me think of the pretzel brand. So this is a wonderful discovery, and I thought that it might give you a laugh.

Or want to bash in my head for mentally butchering your characters’ names for 7 and a half chapters.

Either response is acceptable, really.

Love to see Draco working alongside Harry. For a while, I’d actually forgotten that they must work together, since Harry and Ron went to the Auror Department. I can’t imagine how that slipped my mind--just didn’t put two and two together. I think you do a good job of giving them a decent work relationship without making them inordinately chummy. It fits this version of Draco nicely.

Wo-oah! Did not expect that! What on earth happened here?!!!


“People have forgiven me for much worse than a blow to the face, and you deserve no less.”
--I just love this line. Things like this are why I adore Draco Malfoy: the Redeemed Edition so very much as a character.

Super. Creepy. Creatures. What in the name of chocolate chip cookies are those things?! Ick!


CC:

"the deep gnarls became even more pronounced,”
--I’m thinking that “gnarls” should probably be “snarls”.

It cautiously stuck its prominently large head.
--“Prominently large” is a bit redundant. Just “prominent head” would do.

"she’ll move slow enough”
--You switch tenses here. To go along with the rest of the passage, “she’ll” should be “she’d”.


Pardon me, I’ve got to go figure out what happens next, because for real, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! Yikes! Very scary. I’m currently scanning my living room in search of possible weapons to see what I can use if the Neanderthal rats invade (I’m envisioning the R.O.U.S.’s from The Princess Bride, by the way. Ew).

--Penny

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