Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Lululuna says:
Hi Aditi! :) I'm here for your requested review from like a month ago, I'm really sorry it took this long to get here. :( The Battle really took a lot of my reviewing inspiration and time as I'm sure you can relate to. :P

This was a really wonderful chapter! :) I really like how now that Delilah Jones has been taken care of, Dominique is starting to realize the true, lifelong consequences of what it means to be a werewolf. It's so interesting how she hasn't really thought about it much until now, almost as if she's in denial. So much has happened in the last month, and I feel that she's been busier with solving the mystery and bringing the people who hurt her to justice rather than accepting the everyday reality of the situation. Her confused emotions about her scar were so sad - but I'm glad that Teddy is there to support her and show her that she deserves to love herself for who she is.

I loved the Burrow gathering and that warm, Weasley feeling, from how much food there was to how welcoming and supportive everybody was. But then there was also the darker, more stressful undertone, and I could tell how Dom felt a little uncomfortable and like her family was nervous for her. That seems very realistic, although of course a lot of the worry is in Dominique's head. Her fear of the moon and dwelling on how symbolic it would become reminded me of Remus and his fear of the moon as well.

Hermione was just wonderful here, I think you wrote her very nicely in terms of canon. She had that kind, thoughtful and very perceptive character which I loved about her in the HP books, and I like how her nurturing instincts have grown and shown her to be this very motherly figure who also is good at taking action. Hermione brewing the potion for Dom is just perfect since it took me right back to the Polyjuice potion in Myrtle's bathroom days. :P

It's quite upsetting how the Ministry doesn't have the potion on hand for werewolves - seems like they're just as useless as they've always been, sadly. :( The idea of Dom having to wait for the potion and brewing the potion for her being illegal is just quite corrupt and unfair, and makes me worry for the people who are in similar situations to Dom but might not have the resources she does.

One thing about that conversation which made me curious though, was why Hermione was worried about Arthur being concerned about Hermione breaking the Ministry's rules and giving Dominique the potion? I would imagine that the whole family would want Dom to be as safe and comfortable as possible during her transformation, and Arthur isn't exactly a saint himself considering he hid a magically enhanced flying car. :P I'd be more worried about Percy, personally, since he was a bit of a rule-stickler in the books. So maybe that's something to consider if you edit this chapter as it did confuse me a little. :)

And the proposal! Aw, poor Teddy. :( I suspected something was up the whole chapter, and I was right! :D His proposal was very sweet - I especially liked how he mentioned their first kiss and what the garden at the Burrow meant to them, aw. ♥

That being said, I think Dominique did the right thing in stopping him from proposing. It's sad, and uncomfortable, but I don't think this is the best time for her to have something like this, another change in her life, coming onto her plate. She's about to have her first transformation, she's still coming to terms with herself, and Teddy should know her well enough to wait until she's ready and in a stable and accepting place before putting another thing on her plate, even if it's a happy thing. Dom still has a lot of personal issues and identity problems she needs to cope with, and I think she needs to learn to be herself again. :)

Here are a few little nitpicky things I noticed (feel free to ignore them, of course! :))

her thoughts resuming to the scar... I feel like "resuming" is a bit of an odd word to use in this sentence. "returning to the scar" would make sense, or "she resumed thinking about the scar," because of the kind of verb it is.

hide any part of yours from me... "yours" should be "yourself" I think.

She said excitedly, hugging her sister and ushering them in. Dominique hugged her back then fell into step beside Victoire. I just noticed that these two sentences contradicted one another, the way it reads now is that they hugged, Victoire let them in, Dominique hugged her again, and then they walked in. So it's a little out of order.

Mama thought you are not coming... "are" should be "were."

her father who sat on the sofa... Should be "was sitting on the sofa" because... I think it's called a progressive verb? If he actually did the action of sitting down when she was looking at him then it would fit, but because he's already sitting should be "was sitting." :)

This was a really great chapter, I think one of my favourites so far! I'm looking forward to the next one especially and seeing how Dominique copes with her transformation and how it might change her. I wonder if she might even have a positive experience and realize that being a werewolf is something she can cope with.

Thanks for requesting and I hope you find this review helpful.This was a great read! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

I definitely found this review helpful and I'll look into the things you pointed out, and edit as soon as I get some time =)

I am glad you liked the way I wrote Dominique here and all her emotions. It's also great to know that you found the Weasley gathering realistic as I am not very good with family gathering stuff but it's nice to know you liked it.

It's a relief that you liked Hermione too and felt her tied with canon. Thank you! And yes, the Arthur part, I should change it to Percy! Thanks for the suggestion xD

I quite agree with your thoughts on the proposal. Teddy wanted to bring some happiness into Dom's life with the proposal but he needs to understand that this is really not the best time as Dom is still coming to terms with her new identity. Nonetheless, Dom will explain things to him (or will she? ;)).

Thank you once again for your detailed and thoughtful review =)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 355
Submit Report: