|Review:||Penelope Inkwell says:|
Jeeennna! I love this story! Sorry if it’s slow going, but I’m going to review every chapter if it kills me. Hah!
" Once again, he began to quietly hate cursed magic, which haunted the nightmares of his childhood. The witch. He loathed magic for bringing him Rose and taking her away from him. Like a knight and faerie lady in a romance of King Arthur, they could never belong to the same world, be entirely as one. Magic brought him peace, yet snatched it away with the fleeting sweet smell of her hair lingering upon his skin.”
--this is beautiful. Well, really, all your sections of this type are lovely, but I love how careful the balance of your word choice is here. I can really feel the tension: how grateful he is to know Rose, and how much he curses his fate for giving her to him only to take her away. He seems to be struggling with the whole, “better to have loved and lost” thing here, and the way you do it is lovely, I think.
I like the way you depict Rose’s reaction to what’s happened. For a moment, I was like, “Doesn’t she want to go home? Sort things out? Why stay where she’s going to have to put on an act?” But then, when I thought about it, it seemed like such a very human response. She doesn’t want to be alone. She doesn’t want to have to sort it out yet. It’s terrifying, and she wants to put off questioning it and be with people that make her feel safe. And I think that makes a lot of sense.
Maude seems to have a good head on her shoulders. I can see why she’s a crucial part of their little group. I’ve heard so much about her that I’m quite happy to finally meet her. Also, am I picking up that she’s gay? Good on you for writing diverse characters. That’s the one thing about HP. There is Dumbledore, of course, which is alluded to, and of course there ARE PoC characters (the Patels, Shacklebolt, Dean Thomas, Angelina), but they play very peripheral roles. And in fanfic we have a bit more freedom, I suppose, so it’s good to see all sorts of people being represented!
Cecelia is really growing on me, too. I feel like things could never be all that boring, so long as you were friends with her. But the poor girl really does attract some...interesting characters.
Cecelia and Atticus Voltaire Smith are CRACKING ME UP! You paint him so perfectly, I can just see it now. I’ve never known anyone just like that, but I FEEL like I have. Also, making his last name “Smith” and the whole “PaPA’s yearly salary” bit? Bahaha. He’s so horrible and hilarious at the same time.
What is Richard going to do? Oh my gosh! The waiting is going to drive me mad, isn’t it? Richard, don’t do it!
No CC for you this time. It’s another great chapter, and while I throw it in there as a rule, there’s no point searching up problems when I didn’t notice any. Good work! Loving this story!
Author's Response: Hi Penny! :)
Ah, you spoil me! Please don't feel you have to review every chapter! I've really enjoyed hearing your thoughts on the story, no matter when they arrive. :)
Thank you! I really love writing Richard's thought patterns and the way he sees the world at this point. Yes! He is just like that, and part of his problem is that he usually sees the world in quite binary terms of right and wrong, loyalty and disloyalty. So his conflicted feelings for Rose are all the more difficult to negotiate.
Yes, I imagined that Rose is a little confused and shocked, and being around her friends helps both distract her from it and give her time to process what was going on. I think, too, that she's a little afraid to be alone at a time like this - I would be, at least. :)
I'm really glad you liked Maude! :) She's the more level-headed one of the three but definitely has a mischievous side as well. She is gay! I've been trying to include at least one main or secondary character in a lot of my stories who is gay or part of a minority as it just feels more realistic. And I agree about HP, it's too bad that at least one main character who represents a different group, but what can you do.
Haha, I agree about Cecelia! She's fun, but can be a little overwhelming. And Atticus Voltaire, hahaha. I honestly googled "pretentious names" or something and that was the name which came up and I fell in love. Characters like that are so fun even if real people like that aren't so much. :P He is a bit of a caricature but he'll be popping in and out every so often.
Hehe, this is the thing about time travel, evil author can make the readers wait forever to fill in the pieces. :P
Thanks so much for the amazing reviews! ♥ I really appreciate your thoughts and feedback on this story, and I'm very excited that you're enjoying it! :)