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Review:MyMyMiss says:
Hey hun, I really liked the plot you have going here for your story! It show's a lot of potential for this!

If I could recommend one thing, it would be to perhaps try to add more detail. You currently have a lot of speech and conversation going on, but you need a lot more detail to make the story sort of whole. You need to explain things, what they feel like, how they taste, what does she see when she wakes up, is her hair frizzy? Does she have morning breath? etc.etc. I think that would be nice, because at the moment there is just a lot of talking happening, and no real vision.

Apart from that though, I love the character of your OC, I havent' seen any stories where they go job hunting, so I am very ingriuged as to where you're headed with this story!!

good luck hun, and keep up the great work!!
~MMM

9/10

Author's Response: Thanks! I really thought no one was reading,so its great to know at least someone was reading! I will try that... (",)Thanks again!

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