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Review:Rumpelstiltskin says:
Back again (Blackout number 18/20).

Plot/plot arch: The plot here has a lot of indirect characterization in it, so I'll keep this short and save it for the next category. I love this little peak and the pre-Hogwarts Lily and Severus, it's awfully sweet (if you exclude Severus being mean to Petunia). I also love how Lily was finally excited to go to second year, after she'd finally experienced Hogwarts. I think what I loved the most was the ending, and it's bitter sting of irony.

Characterization: Lily-- she's as kind as I would imagine, even contemplating not going to Hogwarts because Petunia couldn't. Then, after her first year, she can't wait to go back. Severus-- I think you've nailed young Severus. He's shows no patience nor kindness towards Petunia, probably because he couldn't care less about her. His friendship with Lily is true to what I would imagine, and I love his reaction to Lily's kiss on the cheek, and the longing to be with her.

Detail: While this didn't have a ton of descriptions, this chapter had a lot to do about the characters, so the exclusion didn't harm the story at all.

Emotion: Lily's uncertainty about going to Hogwarts and Severus' longing for Lily really shone through in this chapter, so I think you did a great job evoking those emotions.

Other/notes: Another great chapter! Off to the next.


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