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Review:draco_lover12 says:
I'm back again :P

I like to point out the lack of paragraphs. Two sentences is not a paragraphs and it can be slightly frustrating, and annoying that I can't read it in one bunch. Instead its like reading two sentences, stopping and then going again.

Also keep an eye on the , in speech because when it doesn't have say he said/she said after it it should have a . not a , . Hope this makes sense.

Ron is acting childish in my opinion and he needs a kick up the backside and just accept his daughter's decision. If he doesn't make an effort to get to know Scorpius how will he ever see he is different?

Laura

Author's Response: That's the beauty of novel writing. You don't have to follow the rules of standard composition writing. Fragments are actually more commonly accepted along with the occasional run on (although I know I have way too many of those.) Still I went back and I reread the chapter and I have to disagree with the paragraph lengths. A paragraph is a group of sentences that are related to each other. As an author a paragraph's spacing can also be used to emphasize a point. But even in those situations the paragraphs were more than two sentences. Now another reason for the spacing is that you can't have more than one perspective in a single paragraph, that is a big no no, and for that there must also be a space. I did notice that the spacing was much different in this chapter and it is because this chapter has a lot more internal thinking than other chapters, so I spaced for purpose and I personally like it that way.
As for the in speech, I did not know that about the ., so thank you for telling me. I will try to remember that when I'm writing.
Is Ron acting childish? for all you know he could actually be trying to mend things and Scorpius has just really messed up. If Ron didn't see how important it was to Rose that he get to know Scorpius I doubt he would have sent the letter. Also I'm sure Ron knows what it is going to take to get his daughter back, and it's not by bashing her new husband in a letter. But that is only one way to think about it.
Thank you for reading and for the tips.


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