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Review:adluvshp says:
Blackout Battle 1/20

Wow this was a very good opening chapter for a murder mystery! I loved the dark and suspenseful feel that engulfed the narrative from the very beginning. I also liked the way you provided some backstory through Tobias' thoughts reflecting on the decision regarding the change.

The way the "murder" scene was written was also very effective and nicely done. The descriptions were somewhat chilling and I was anxious about what's going to happen. The way Tobias was treated by his murderer was also so painful, with the details so vivid, that I really pitied him.

It was also interesting how nothing more about the killer was revealed through Tobias' eyes - we don't know how he looks or acts at all.

The style of writing over all was also very good and I particularly liked how the chapter ended with the time of murder. I think this was over all very interesting and I am very curious to know how the plot progresses so I'm going to read the next chapter too =)

Great job! 10/10
--AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Howdy!

I definitely wrestled with this because I knew straight out I wanted the murder to be in the first chapter and have it be high impact. Given that it is great to hear that you thought the murder scene was well done.

I considered so many different ways of addressing the murderer to in terms of the plot - revealing the murderer completely, revealing just gender, revealing potentially identifying characteristics, etc - but I ultimately decided to go with trying to reveal as little as possible because of my planned ending. When I sit down to write more I have been sometimes kicking myself saying "WHY?! Another approach would be so much easier!" but I am keeping the faith that it will all work out in the end and hopefully if you keep reading you'll ultimately agree. As always, only time will tell...

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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