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Review:Infinityx says:
Hey, you two! So I decided to come and check this out when I saw Curie's status on the forums, and I'm sure glad I did! Great work on the first chapter Reebs!

This chapter was just so vague and intriguing and IT'S KILLING ME! Seriously. SO MANY QUESTIONS. I think this is the first time I'm this eager to read a Next Gen fic. I usually steer as far away from them as possible. But your concept behind this, the relation to Fred(I), the story title..I'm hooked!

Fred(II) seems to be really torn up. I can't imagine what must have happened for him to get into such a huge fight with his dad that he feels the need to leave. I feel really sad for him. It had been a while since his father had looked at him with pride Oh, poor thing! :(

I love the way you've characterized Rox here! She seems like such an amazing sister! I can't wait to see how her character will progress as well!

Your descriptions portray Fred's frustration really well in this chapter. Good job! The only CC I have here is that there's a small inconsistency with the tense in this chapter. I suggest you read through the part where Fred remembers his morning with Rox. You've shifted from past perfect to simple past. You need to add "had" before the past participles there. Also, in the beginning he starts packing his stuff into his trunk, but later it says that he zipped up his suitcase. That was a bit unclear to me. Was he going to take both a trunk and a suitcase?

Apart from those things, this was a solid chapter. I love the way this story has begun and you have no clue how excited I am to read on! I'm so curious. Your description of his parents' state indicates that something terrible happened. His motherís expression hadn't changed much. What did he mean by that? How was her expression? Gah. I NEED TO KNOW.

And it's as though everything's happening at once - the situation with his parents, his girlfriend breaking up with him. Oh, poor Fred! :(

I'd like to get a bit more background on him. Small things like how old he is and what he does. I'm sure they'll be explained in the coming chapters and I can't wait to find out what's going on!

I hope this wasn't too harsh! Let me know once you update! Good luck, both of you!

~Erin

Author's Response: Hi Erin!

Aw, thanks hun! :)

I'm glad! Mae actually came up with the title so kudos to her! And we've made you try next gen! squee! and we're absolutely totally glad you liked it!

Haha, well I'm glad its intriguing ;) I'm so excited for this and just everything about this that I'm trying so so hard not to spill all our plot twists and everything! i'm glad that line evoked sympathy- i can assure you, that is one of my biggest insecurities :P

I'm glad! Rox is a huge part of Fred's life and we really worked hard to characterise her- working right down to her nickname :P

Thank you! Eurgh, grammar and me do not mix, so thank you so so much for pointing that out! And the suitcase thing :/ Whoops! Totally my fault- only a trunk :)

I'm glad! That was what we really wanted of the first chapter- to be really intriguing and open ended, but still describe the present actions well? So I'm glad it worked! Hahaha, we'll have to swap sometime for the second chapter? :)

Yeah- its really just like a huge tsunami (excuse the bad simile) They definitely will be! And you should totally be excited for Mae's chapter because she does that so so well!

Please! You showered both of us with compliments! Thank you! You're way too sweet! And this review, it could never be harsh- only way way way too lovely (not that we're complaining ;P)

And the next update should be up soon! We're putting it in the queue tomorrow!

-Curie and Mae :)


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