This is an interesting start to a story. I like how things began with a bang, but you're keeping the suspense alive by not sharing all of Fred's thoughts with us. I'm curious to know why he's so mad. Also, as someone who likes travel, I'm naturally enticed by his open schedule. Egypt and Greece are great, but the whole world is open to him, and that's exciting.
One thing that really caught me off guard was the mention of Muggle condoms. In general, I think that's actually an interesting discussion-- contraception in the Muggle world versus the wizarding one. And I understand why Fred might have packed them. However, as there was no context for the mention of it, no explanation, and nothing else in the chapter related to it, it mostly just stood out as odd to me. I think it would be better to mention that, and talk about it in more detail, when it becomes relevant. For now, talking about condoms is just unnecessary.
Also, one little thing: you talk about him packing a trunk, then later describe him zipping a suitcase. Possibly you mixed up your luggage types?
Other than that, it was a good start. I think Roxanne is cute, and a great sister. I'd be interested to see why Fred is so furious with his father, and how it's connected to Fred I. Kudos to you as well, for writing a collab!
Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you so much! We're really glad that you like it! Yes, that was the intention of having the chapter not really all that clear and kind of confusing? But we're glad it worked! Haha, we love to travel too! Hence the travel fic ;) I'm god you liked it!
Yeah, I do get what you mean :) It was meant to be random, but also have an underlying message, so we will definitely go back and edit the chapter to make the message clearer :)
Ooh god! Thats just me :P Well, I will definitely edit that too! Ty for pointing it out! :D
Thank you~ Rox is a definite favourite for both of us! Haha, well, you'll have to see ;) Thank you! We are super excited and definitely glad that you liked it! :D
-Mae and Ree :)