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Review:Dark Whisper says:
DracoFerret11,

Bravo! Take a bow... this was EXCELLENT!

Crack-ship, indeed, but done so very, very well. I'm amazed at how meaningful it is... how he has said nothing at his parole hearings and how his number spells out who he is and why he is there.

You showed where his obsession with her began and how it built. And how his only hope daily is to see her someday. I'm also quite fond that he had a newspaper photo of her and how he hides it.

This is an excellent look into a prisoner's lonely mind and shows that even a seemingly heartless man can harbor feelings hidden deep.

The ONLY thing that I could suggest is that you put the song in a top Author's Note so that readers could listen while reading it the first time. I didn't know of the song until the end.

Now for the song... It is one of my favorites of all time! I think I might like the choral version sung in Latin, (Agnus Dei) a tad bit better. :) I have listened to both literally hundreds of times, particularly when I want to touch on a certain tragic mood while writing. The height of it, followed by a crash of silence is music straight from heaven. Barber added the lyrics years later and it is my understanding it was a response to war. Over and over, repeatedly, it asks for forgiveness and peace. ;( It is perfection.

As it pertains to your story, I think it is the slow build that correlates to the sun rising, building his thoughts of her; building as he remembers seeing her during the battle; building to his height of hope and light... and then the crash and silence, realizing that change would never happen and he was just a number now. The music begins again, slowly and tenderly as he reflects on the reality of his situation... "Time will pass... and no change will come."

*sigh*

This was really beautifully, poetically written. Best wishes on both challenges.

Thanks for the wonderfully sad, emotional read. I enjoyed it very much. 10/10.

Sincerely,
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Hi Dark Whisper!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! This was such an amazing review and it really made my day. I'm so happy that the emotions in this story came across well. I was really worried that I wasn't going to be able to pull this off, and I'm really happy you seem to think I succeeded! I'll definitely mention the song at the beginning. Good idea! Thanks for that. :) All-in-all, this was so great to read and I'm so happy that you liked the story. Thanks again!

--Emily


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