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Review:SilverDarkHorse says:
Hello :)

I enjoyed this one-shot. Jily is my OTP, and I am always on the lookout for new stories.

James, Lily and Sirius were all well written. I thought a little more Remus would not have been amiss.

The little details at the beginning - the sweat on James's forehead, the leaves falling from the trees etc were lovely, and add interest to the story. The latter half of the tale would benefit from a few similar touches.

The tempo at the end is a bit rushed - pace it out a bit more, and perhaps you could switch between different POVs? It would add interest to an already good story.

Overall, it is quite good for a first attempt. Keep it up, and you could throw out some great one-shots soon!

Cheers, mate :)

Author's Response: Hi!
First off, thank you so much for the review. It seriously brightens my day.

I tried so hard to write them well! I'm glad you noticed, and that I even got close haha. And I wanted to write Remus in a little bit more. When I had the idea, he wasn't in it at all. But what's a marauder wedding without Moony? I agree that he could've been in it more, but I really wanted to focus on James in particular.

The ending is where I sort of got lost...because I wanted it to be relatively short, which it definitely is, and the tension is the main focus. But looking back, I think I might edit a bit, especially with description.

Thank you so much for your critique! I find it very helpful, and I'll tinker with the ending. And thank you for even reviewing at all. :)


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