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Review:TidalDragon says:
Howdy!

First off, I liked the time you took to describe things, particularly people's appearances. The lines about the dress Astoria was wearing were particularly significant and the way you wove her thoughts in with your own description of the symbolism was well done.

The way you paint the Greengrass family is also interesting. Obviously we don't really know much of anything about them from canon, but you manage to give them something unique in the first chapter by demonstrating how prejudice and loyalty to Voldemort have not permeated Astoria's psyche despite her upbringing.

I have mixed feelings about the ending. It was a bit abrupt for me. But at the same time I am intrigued by where the next chapter will start given Astoria's emotions and Malfoy's behavior in her home. It also helps that the thought expressed in the last line is an answer of sorts to her own open question. Perhaps you've got me after all - I'll have to read the next line to find out right?

Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Hey there, TidalDragon (snazzy name, by the way. I like oceans and dragons),

Thank you very much! I'm glad to hear that you liked the part with the dress. Depicting the Greengrass family has been really fun, because it's like having an almost-clean slate. There are some lines there for me to work with, but I've been able to create a lot of new details, too, and I've enjoyed having that freedom.

I totally understand if you found the ending too abrupt. Thanks for telling me. I may have to go back and edit that later. It seemed the best way to move forward at the time, since a large portion of Lavina's (Astoria's mother's) story is told in the next chapter. However, I do see what you mean. Thank you again for pointing it out! I'll have to see if I can think of a way to make that flow a bit better.

Well, if you're intrigued, I do hope you'll read on and find out. There are certainly plenty more mysterious to be revealed, if you do decide to stick around, and I really appreciate having a reviewer who'll give me constructive criticism.

Either way, thanks for reading and reviewing!

--Penny




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