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Review:TidalDragon says:
Howdy!

I really enjoyed the characters you laid out in the story, from Victoire herself to Condescending Alexander to the Irish giant. I don't know a whole heap about the Irish, but it also seemed that you did a really good job getting his speech patterns consistent and therefore believable.

I thought it was interesting how you portrayed Teddy as well, having he and Victoire broken up after their turn in the DH epilogue, but it came across as believable, and even though we didn't see much of them as a couple in your story, even a bit sad.

While I also liked that Victoire seemed to be absorbed in every facet of the experience she was having, with her mind darting from here to there and then around elsewhere as she started off on her journey, I found it a bit jarring at points due to the formatting. I don't know if you left it that way because you wanted it to tell us something about her natural personality or if you just don't like using them, but I thought using the horizontal rule lines could be helpful at points because there is a lot of text on the page. Just a thought.

Looking forward to reading more of this!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you liked the characters! They were a lot of fun to bring to life, and writing Alexander was very amusing because he was so insufferable. I'm pleased the speech patterns seemed authentic as well, I was winging it a little but glad with how it turned out.

Yes! There will be more about them as the story progresses. :P Teddy didn't fit well into the plot at this point, even though it's not much of a romance story. I'm pleased you found it a little sad as well!

That's a really good point - I'll go back and edit the chapter at some point and look to break up the text a little. It is a very long chapter with lots of ideas which could be quite jarring. It's funny, usually I'm kind of the opposite and use too many line breaks, so this is very helpful feedback to get! :)

Thanks so much for the lovely review!


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