Hello there! I'm sorry that this is the only review I've written so far - because normally when I really like a story, I review every chapter - but I've been swamped with my own story, work, etc. So I apologize for not showing this fic more love, but hopefully this will sort of make up for it ;)
I adore your plot. Adore it to bits! I really only read Marauder fics these days so usually I come across the same recycled plot lines - and since I've been on this site for a number of years, I can tell you that they get old. Well, I shouldn't say that. Some cliches can be done if the writer breathes life into them ... but I'm rambling now. What I really want to say is that I love Melanie. She's fresh, original, and the main reason why I kept reading.
I love that she's a Slytherin because it adds to all the sexual tension between her and Sirius; "Omg, I like you, but you're a Slytherin so therefore I should hate you" kind of stuff. But even though she isn't your typical Slytherin because she runs away from her pureblood family - love that part by the way, love it! - she still has some "snake like" features, if you know what I mean. She's feisty! It's also so awesome that she's a prankster. And not one of those 5th Marauder types, but someone who actually enjoys the sport of it all.
So her relationship with Sirius is fabulous. They have these really tender moments, yet they are both rather stubborn and not willing to acknowledge their true feelings, so they have some dramatic ones as well. But that's why I love them together - I feel like Sirius has to end up with a strong female type who he butts heads with every so often :)
And her friends! Melanie is surrounded by some wonderful OCs! I have to admit, I wasn't very fond of Mandy in the beginning, but she's grown on me. And Charlotte, oh Charlotte. Horrible way to go, but I'm glad Melanie is trying to better herself because of it.
I have only one critique. I love/completely support Melanie running away from her family, but I was expecting a little bit more backlash. Now I admit that I'm writing this review several chapters after the event, so I could be totally forgetting a lot of stuff ... but I kept wanting someone in Slytherin to start talking down to her or pranking her behind her back. It seems that they all sort of let it go and didn't bother her at all. If someone like Charlotte died because she rejected the Dark Lord's principles, I thought something scarier was going to happen to Melanie as well. But this is only something minor, because I love that most of her Slytherin friends don't care. I just thought that maybe Snape or Lester would pick on her more.
But overall, this is a fantastic fic. Seriously, way to go - great writing!!
Author's Response: Ugudjvydjdgvxdghd
Hi Carly! This is such a lovely review - of course I don't mind that you haven't reviewed every chapter because I totally understand that people have lives outside of hpff. But your amazing and thoughtful review is like a warm blanket I want to wrap myself in forever. Ok so now I'll try to respond properly rather than just gushing hehe.
It is SO great to hear that you love the plot and that Melanie is original. I'm glad you like the Slytherin aspect too - I wanted to show that rivalry in a fun way, and kind of a better side to Slytherin than is shown in the books. That said, I'm glad you see the standard snake qualities in her as well.
Heh, yeah I think Sirius needed to be with someone who challenges him sometimes - I'm glad you agree and that you like them together! :D I'm all about strong female characters.
Lol, Mandy can be shallow and frivolous but she has a good heart. I think she's grown up since the beginning. Yeah... I really hated writing that part with Charlotte, but I had to... :(
You make a good point about the rest of the Slytherins and how they'd probably react if they knew, but she didn't tell anyone but her closest friends. Over time some people probably did find out, but I don't know that the entirety of Slytherin house would be aware of the specifics, or that Melanie would be particularly bothered by Jasper's opinion of her anymore.
Gah, I can't thank you enough for this fantastic review! I appreciate it so much!! ♥