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Review:ginnypotter242 says:
Aww, I love the cliche romance games :) James.Lily are adorable, I just love them. Alice and Marly were great with the not-so-subtle teasing of Lily. I love it hen Lily has a crush on James and thinks that he doesn't like her anymore- silly James, just ask her out already! The game was great, and Sirius' question was perfect. Did him and Marlene plan that? It was too perfect since it outed both of them :)

I'd like to see a little bit more description in this. Sites, smells, sounds- all of them would make the story flow a bit better. Expanding on a few things might help as well. I know this is a one-shot, but adding some additional comments or descriptions about things or people would help the story feel more real, and it would fit together a bit more.

Other than that, great job. The story was really cute, especially as it was Jily, one of my OTP's (which is a contradiction in itself, but I find myself incapable of having a single OTP). Jily is adorable, and I love the way you wrote them. Great job.

~Sara (For Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle)

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