Gah, this was so heartbreakingly beautiful. I loved it. Your words were just perfectly chosen, and Rose's pain and her confusion was so vivid and true - her story was both extremely relatable yet also very individualized in how strong her character was. That's the perfect balance for a story like this, I think, where it's not only about the character but about sending a message to the reader.
I love the structure of the story, with each section showing how Rose has changed since the last one, and the repetition of "Thin" and Scorpius telling Rose she's beautiful. The story was very poetic and raw, in a way. I thought the progression of her thoughts and feelings and how she hits rock-bottom then slowly pulls herself back up was very inspirational.
It's all I can see, and it consumes me like fire. This line, wow. It was beautiful, and I feel it was extremely true for people who are suffering from depression or eating disorders. It's all they can think about - it consumes them, and this line captured that devastation in a lovely way.
After three months, he asks me why I don't smile as much anymore. Of all the things he could notice about me, he notices that. I loved this line, and how it shows what Scorpius truly cares about with Rose. But then, it also shows how single-minded she is at this point, and how for her, the smile doesn't matter, only being thin matters as it's the most important thing about her. Scorpius throughout this story was written so realistically - how his love for Rose keeps him from seeing how she is suffering, and how he blames himself. I think that's very true of people who see their loved ones go through this.
Eventually my parents come into the room, and all I can see on their faces is disappointment. Once again, I've failed to be good enough - I can't even be good at being thin. This is really heartbreaking, but I like how you touched on it later with saying it wasn't disappointment she was seeing. Of course, at this point in her depression, she sees the worst and she projects the hate she feels for herself onto others.
...not just proud of protruding bones. I loved this line, and how Rose can now recognize what her body was turning into and what she desired. It's one of those haunting sentences which I could really visualize.
I really liked how Scorpius is there for Rose, but in the end she wants to get better for her own sake, not just for his. I liked how they waited until she was better to get together, and how they can be their best selves in the future. The idea of the article she wrote and how happy she was when she helped somebody was a really lovely thought in returning agency to her as well.
This was just such a beautiful story and I'm so happy I read it! You did an amazing job and brought to life a problem which so many people face and overcome. I loved it! :)
Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Blackout Battle - Review 9 of 10