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Review:ShadowRose says:
Hello! I'm here for the Gryffindor/Slytherin Blackout Battle!

First off, I absolutely adore stories written in second person. It's so personal-sounding, and gives the story this haunted feeling - like you're listening to a voice inside your head. It's such a short piece, but it's so loaded with emotion too. I really love the premise for this as well - Fred having a fear of growing old. It definitely seems like something believable for someone known for his childish behaviour, and it makes his early death all that much more powerful.

I love your characterization of Fred - he's an instantly relatable character. I also love how quickly, yet smoothly, you're able to transition through time periods. The whole piece feels connected, even though it takes place over a large span of years. It's so heartwrenching too, seeing little Fred fret about growing old, and then reaching the point where he never has to. It's such heart-wrenching irony, and gosh darn it, you're bringing up a lot of Fred feels and I just - augh.

This piece was just so beautifully written - short and charged, which I think works perfectly. The repetition of the "I don't want to look like that" is great, and shows Fred's fear while also reminding the reader that, no, Fred won't ever look like that. The story ends on such a haunting note too: "You'll never grow old now." It's so heartbreaking and powerful, and just, wow. I'm actually out of words at this point.

This was absolutely heartwrenching and breathtaking and everything in between. Great job with this story - I thought it was amazing!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Hello, Taylor!

Yes, I agree with second person sounding so personal; it's the reason I chose to write it this way. It made it all feel more real in my head, more... haunted. Yes. When I got the premise of fearing growing old for the challenge and Fred as the character, the irony had me staring at the screen for a minute. But it made a bigger impact on his death and I couldn't resist.

I'm glad; that's what I wanted. I didn't really think about the transition when I was writing, the beginning was just a memory during the war, but when I got it written down and read it through, I was very happy with how it fit. Fred feels - I had a lot, too.

Short and charged seemed so much more powerful than if I'd tried to make it longer. I stopped when it felt right. Oh, the end; it was so sad to right. I'm glad you liked it. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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