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Review:anythingcouldhappen says:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review :)

This was a fantastic chapter. I think you just hit Ginny's character spot on. Honestly her voice here is awesome. It just felt right. Her grief over Fred was heart breaking, and I think you captured that grief in a very real way.

This part was my favorite (though it had me tearing up):

"She felt as though a hole had been crudely punched through her heart and the pain of it made her want to double over. The unyielding permanence of death had never been clearer to her than it was now, and this overwhelming realization threatened to push her over the carefully constructed barrier she had built for herself."

This just so perfectly describes grief. Its like you know that someone is dead, but it's almost unreal. And then you have moments when it all suddenly overwhelms you. And you captured that. Like seriously, you just somehow managed to describe it so well. Its something I've felt many times, but I could never have described it so perfectly.

In terms of the other characters, they all seem fine so far. The flow/pace is great, and your writing is really easy and pleasant to read. I think in terms of plot, you just need to make it clear the end goal of the story. Like you can't just sort of drag the story on without setting up a conflict that needs to be resolved and stuff. Sorry I feel like I'm not being totally clear, but I don't know how else to word it. :P

Awesome job! Hope this helped!

Sam

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks so much for your affirmation on Ginny's character and her grief. It was very difficult to write, but I somehow just knew what Ginny would be feeling, and it had to go into the chapter. Though I'm sorry it made you tear up, I'm so glad it was well received. Your kind words about that passage in particular just made me smile and feel so much better about this chapter :D

"your writing is really easy and pleasant to read." Well... you literally just made my day. It's actually kinda sad how much I worry about this, so it's a relief to read these words! Hopefully they remain true for the rest of the chapters! (Seriously, I'm internally begging myself right now!)

Thank you so much on the plot tip, that is definitely a useful one and I will be sure to utilize it here as well as keep it in mind for all things I write. Don't worry, you were being totally clear and I got it completely :D

Thanks so much again! It definitely helped and I will for sure be coming back for a re-request :D

Christy


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