Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:randomnickname says:
Wha wha wha favcharacter? hard to say, almost all awwwsome!
I always have a big Remus crush (love of martyrs), and his story with Marianne was sweet, although a little kitch on the edges ("I save you, almost died and oh btw I'm a werewolf), in particular her reaction of IMMEDIATE understanding, that I didn't found very realistic. But I love how you imagined the world of upper-class wizards!
Gemma is huge, bit too dramatic sometimes, but c'mon, she smokes gillyweed! the beginning of her relation with Sirius - one of my fav moments I think. Sirius, hm, a little too aware of what he feels for an arrogant teenage boy, but still good match.
The Lily-James-mating cene is also one of my favs, Lily is also a really cool character.
I found Aeryn annoying in the beginning (think I skipped the Mrs. Puddifoot-ring-scene), but is becoming interesting with her bisexual feelings.
Peter is in my eyes very well done, you understand why he's still their friend,and the story with Luciana is also pretty fascinating.

In general for your story: sometimes too much details and characters thinking too much and too clearly - they could unfold more quietly, if you see what I mean.
But hell, you have such a lot of good, original ideas, you have managed your own coherent world and splendid characters, very well done and thank you sooo much :)

Author's Response: Hurray, a review!!

I also have a big Remus crush - ESPECIALLY when writers make him into a martyr. So I wanted to run with that idea and then add my own little spin to it, hence Marianne and the whole upper class wizard society stuff. But your comment about her reaction is spot on and it's one of the things I don't like about this fic. For plot purposes, I have to be rather frank about people's emotions, especially since the POV jumps around a lot. So I've been trying to sprinkle character actions throughout all the chapters, but yeah, it's not perfect.

Gemma is supposed to be a complete crazy pants, so that's why she's a bit dramatic. As for Sirius ... he's the other thing I don't like about this fic. Well, I do and I don't. He doesn't start out as the Sirius everyone knows and loves, but I want to show a progression into his more canon self that we see in the books. So don't judge him until you get to the end!

Lily and James are adorable, aren't they? I never liked them until I started writing this fic XD

Aeryn is supposed to be boring - I HATED writing her beginning chapters. They were like pulling teeth, I swear! But her eventual subplot is going to be good, so I pushed on thru XD I'm also so glad you like Peter! I modeled him after Peter Campbell from Mad Men - I wanted to show him being a sneaky little rat, ehehe.

Thank you for saying there are too many details, I will definitely cut unnecessary descriptions when I go back and edit the previous chapters. As for the thinking too much - as I said before, I want to show a progression, so hopefully you won't feel that way at the end. But if you do, please let me know in a review and I'll try and make the transition much smoother!!

Thanks randomnickname :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 624
Submit Report: