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Review:oldershouldknowbetter says:

May + James is Emma.

May + Albus is Pride and Prejudice

I've always thought that Emma was the harder sell. Especially if the romantic interest is less in the friend zone and more like a big brother (in Emma's case it was actually her brother {half-brother or something} - even so, eww) So far I see James' role in the story to be far more like an elder brother. He's a year older, she's a she, she was a Malfoy put into Gryffindor. The pranking each other could be his vague attempts at acting like an older brother.
It would be hard, though not impossible, to bring the two together believably.

May and Albus, on the other hand is far easier to do and what's more you have already started down that path. The initial hate is there, check. Because you only hate for two reasons, unless it's an irrational hate (one which has been fostered upon you by others). You hate either because the object of hatred has done you grievous wrong or you hate what you secretly desire but never think you can have.
Now do they actually have regard for each other - In helping Scorpius with his 'Rose problem' we see them agreeing in several ways - so obviously their thoughts must run along similar channels. Also another sign of a P&P style romance is if they esteem the same people. It is easy to dislike someone who likes the things you don't, but if they like the things and people you like then why are they such objects of displeasure?

I'd personally like to see Al and May (Pride and Prejudice will always be my romance go-to choice).
And also the start of it is right there. In fact the way you've set up your story you have the opportunity for a lovely bitter/sweet resolution. In getting Albus to 'snog her and want to' she actually falls for him. So then, when Albus accidentally finds it was all for a bet/dare ... cue drama, angst, heart-break, reconciliation, etc, etc.

Whatever you do though, keep writing. This chapter made me laugh out loud on several occasions (especially the 'your'e gay' dialogue).
Your writing is a joy to read - keep it up!

To reiterate - MAY + ALBUS

Author's Response: I see you have been able to see through my subtle hints. Yes the part where both Al and May agree on something is proof that they can actually get along. And like you said it's the age-old question is it not? Who do you want to end up with? The boy who is your best friend or the one that can spark up something unexpected in you? Thanks for reviewing btw :) I loved reading your reviews. Makes me think hahaha

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