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Review:TidalDragon says:
Decided to check out your WIP after reading your one-shot Two Sides of the Coin. It's great to read your descriptions again!

Thus far, I like how you've meshed some of Ginny's fears with plausible real-world events to create a bit of an atmosphere of paranoia, especially re: the potions and ingredients. Having the dreams escalate into consequences in the waking world helps with that too I think.

I also like the idea that you are going to incorporate legilimency as a form of therapy. I'm extremely interested to see how this goes because I have a short-story plot bunny hopping around my own head about using something similar, though not exactly legilimency, in either a marriage prep fic relating to Harry and Ginny or marriage/relationship counseling for them. My biggest hold up has been how difficult I think it will be to write, so it will be nice to see how someone with your descriptive skills tackles it.

So far, only a few, minor things struck me as a bit odd. Ginny's self-admission that she is "so weak" seemed out-of-touch with her strength and toughness that seems to be on display in canon. I totally get that we're dealing with "broken Ginny" in this story and that she is perhaps still vulnerable to the Riddle memories specifically, but that thought just hit me as a bit OOC for her to have. The only other thing is Molly and Hermione pressuring Ginny at the end of this chapter. It doesn't seem like something Molly would do to her daughter (at least for me) and given that Hermione is going through similar struggles, it doesn't seem like something she would do in this story.

Overall though, I think you have a good thing going. It's bold of you to take on such a tough topic with a character you mentioned not having much affection for in one of your A/Ns. Looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like my descriptions! I've worked hard on them over the years as I've been writing.

Yeah, I meant for there to be a palpable dichotomy between Ginny's apparently calm, happy outer world and the struggles she's dealing with in her inner mental world.

The idea for using Legilimency just kind of popped into my head, so I'm curious to play with it (in the chapter I'm currently writing) and see how it could potentially be "used for good," so to speak. I guess we'll have to see how it goes.

Well, to me, anyone dealing with this kind of stress and trauma would feel very weak at times. Ginny is already dealing with a lot, having had to quit a job she loves to focus on being a mother, which is wonderful but not the action-packed life she dreamed of, and she's probably feeling a little depressed and stressed out even without taking into account her nightmares and visions. I know Ginny usually presents as a strong character, but I wanted to go deeper and explore how hard it would be for someone like that to admit a sense of weakness, and to emphasize how difficult this is for her.

I agree that Molly and Hermione pushing Ginny a bit is kind of a stretch there at the end. I wanted to show that Ginny's perception may be a bit distorted in terms of how connected she is to reality and everyday events, and to explore the consequences of not fully opening up to her family about what she's going through. I would like to go back and revise that scene in the future, though, to potentially soften the other women's treatment of Ginny.

Thank you for your kind review! Like I said, I'm working on chapter eight now and will have it up as soon as work lessens up and gives me a chance to write.


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