|Review:||Penelope Inkwell says:|
Told you I was gonna come check out this story! Sorry it took me a few days--busy week of classes. But I had to come see. Your “My Characters’ Facebook Status” caught my eye. I just had to actually find the time to come read it.
So, obviously I didn’t initially expect Glitter to be a guy, but I feel like that’s a pretty solid set up for this story. It gives you the idea that it’s going to be a very playful tone, with a strong emphasis on how crazy family can be. And if that’s the case, I’m liking the premise!
Glitter made me laugh out loud (actually, several of Lily’s descriptions of her relatives are pretty funny. She’s an amusing narrator). I have no trouble imagining that flat (I study theatre, so I know a lot of colorful characters. Who all have equally colorful opinions about proper decor. And it’s wonderful). I am very interested to think of what staid old Petunia and Vernon think of their grandson.
Also, the hunt for a job is a very relatable topic, so I already feel Lily’s pain. Ack! That day is ever creeping closer *buries self in a pile of resumes*.
Ugh! McClaggan! He *would*! Well, Lily would hate working for him, anyway. Hopefully she’ll find the right thing.
I love that Albus joined a Muggle band. That sounds like its own most excellent adventure! Any hope of a spin-off? Short story?
Oh my gosh, Lily exclaiming, “Merlin!’ and Glitter convincing people that she’s just religiously devoted to the show is FABULOUS! I just died. Tears in my eyes. HA!
--also, I really like that show, so I totally appreciate the shout-out.
And what is this mysterious shop that James is running? And what on earth is this holiday they’re prepping for, anyways? I’ve been trying to guess, but there’s not much to go on. Cooking? Fairly normal celebratory activity. But then there’s the “boys’ and girls’ decorations”. My best guess is that maybe Victoire is going to reveal the gender of her twins, and this is a party for that? Something they always do? I don’t know. Guess I’ll have to read forward and find out.
I have one small bit of CC, and that’s on this sentence (edited to be 12+):
“She probably is off work but instead [redacted-ing] Scorpius.” I think it is grammatically correct, but it seems an odd line-up for the words. It might sound a bit more natural to say,
“She probably is off work, but she’s just off [redacted-ing] Scorpius instead.”
Very fun opening. I like the sense that we’ll get to know the whole clan, and I’m definitely wondering what sort of job Lily we’ll be getting. A very nice first chapter. Good job!
Author's Response: Okay, it's official. I suck at responding to reviews!
Haha Glitter came from a mutual friend who likes to be called something obscure instead of his actual name. Although, for Glitter I consider it as his stage name kind of thing but everyone just calls him that anyway because he prefers it. :p
I still haven't written Petunia and Vernon in, I should do that soon! But I'd like to think that they were initially extremely shocked but they still like to hang around him, they just are super uncomfortable with his... flamboyance :p
Yeah, I've been there. Thankfully I finally got one but it's so stressful when you don't have a job! I hate not having a job but I also like not having one :p If only money grew on trees, ahaha!
Nah, at the moment there's no spin-off or short story about Al but maybe one day!
The shop James runs in an apothecary, Lily tells Hugo when they're put having lunch :)
And gah! I thought I put in the reason for the party! It's Lucy and Molly's birthday! I swear I put it in, I can't believe I've gone this long without putting it in! D:
Yeah, that does sound a bit natural. I just tend to speak like a robot and leave out words (I think it's pure laziness) so my characters tend to do the same, haha! Thanks for pointing that out! When I'm at my computer I'll change it and add the part about Lucy and Molly's birthdays, haha! :p
Thanks for the lovely review and I'm so sorry for the ridiculously long time it took me to answer this!
- Kayla :)