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Review:writeyourheartout says:
Hi Sarah!!! *waves frantically* ^.^

This was too cute! Where do I even begin?

I just absolutely adore the idea behind this story. First of all, I love me some Fred and George. What happened to each of them due to the war has always been a lot of people's most difficult Harry Potter death to accept and move forward from - myself included - and so seeing them get this alternate ending, in which both are alive and well and truly happy, is just wonderful. *holds back tears* ;)

"If one studied the dynamics of Fred and George Weasley they would see that Fred is the one who starts, he's more quick to speak, and get angry, he's also the one who puts it all in action. George, on the other hand, is less hot-headed, he's the inventor of the two, he always finishes, and pulls Fred back when he goes to (too, not to) far." - I really love that you gave the boys some distinction! I've read too many Fred and George stories that clump them together as a singular unit with no differing characteristics, and it's just not the case. They are two separate people who, yes, are quite similar, but are not the exact same! Actually, it's this sort of pet peeve that inspired a lot of my own Fred and George novel, so I'm very happy to see someone else giving them a bit of contrast! Yay! :-D

Aziza and Akila are both very sweet and funny and seemingly perfect for Fred and George! I love to see that they've each found someone (another set of twins, as luck would have it!) that makes them happy, can keep up with their craziness, and who enjoy a bit of mischief just as much as their counterparts! It's very idealistic, but I find that very fitting for a Valentine's Day challenge - plus, Fred and George deserve the best. ;) I'm totally on board with these pairs. hehehe Also, their Egyptian background and the influence it has on the wedding is really cool; what a great character choice! (And their names are so pretty. ^.^)

I also love how we get little glimpses into their relationships and how they started and grew closer so that it doesn't feel like Fred and George are marrying two strangers with very little information for us readers to hold onto. I feel invested in the girls, which is quite the accomplishment for such a short fic, and it makes me root for both sets of twins!

""For heaven's sake! What is going on?" Molly was getting flustered and she clearly didn't like being on the attending side of parties." - Ahaha This is so perfectly Molly! As is this: "Mrs. Weasley went from frustrated to flustered to pleased to upset." - Great job playing with her character and keeping her authentic in these small moments!

And, of course, the piece de resistance: the ultimate wedding prank! Ahaha! What a clever idea! I love it! It's so perfectly fitting and feels like a very plausible scenario for canon Fred and George, had Fred survived the war! Honestly, this actually makes me want to write a wedding scene for my George/OC novel! Must... resist... urge... :-p

The inclusion of Bill was great, as well! I don't read a lot of Bill, but I really enjoyed what you did with him here; making him just nutty enough to agree to officiate the wedding, though still giggling through it the entire time! And I really enjoyed the fact that he actually knew the girls separately from his time spent in Egypt! You managed to squeeze a whole lot of details and back-story into this little one-shot, which is very impressive given both the time-frame you had to write it in and the 2500 word count limit! Kudos to you!

A few minor details now:

I was a little confused about this one thing here: First you said this: "Aziza was always finishing Akila's sentences..." and then later you said this: "She remembered being completely entranced by the way Fred would start saying something and George would end it. The opposite of herself and Akila." - It sounds to me like you're saying in the second sentence that Aziza and Akila, unlike Fred and George, do not finish each others sentences, but that directly contradicts the first sentence. It's just a bit unclear, is all! (Although perhaps I'm reading it wrong? A very plausible scenario! If so, please ignore! hehehe :-p)

Also, there's one technical aspect of your writing that I'd like to suggest you take a closer look at, and that's simply the use of semi-colon's in certain places as opposed to comma's! Here's an example: "Both Fred and George looked utterly ridiculous in their traditional Egyptian robes(semi-colon here instead of comma), it was almost unflattering, if they didn't wear it with a smile." - So because both the the first and second half of the sentence could technically stand alone as their own separate sentences, they get a semi-colon instead of a comma. Comma's get used when the sentence being connected would leave one half incomplete without the other half. Does that make sense? That said, however, I love how this sentence touches on their attire! Only the twins would get married in outfits that made them look so ridiculous! hehehe I can just imagine... Too funny. ^.^ Anyway, there were a couple other examples throughout the the fic, but you get the idea! Just take notice each time you're about to use a comma and ask yourself if the sentence following it is one that could otherwise stand alone and, if the answer is yes, use a semi-colon instead! ^.^

That's it, though! It's so great and cute and fun and adorable and clever and happy! I wish this were the reality of Fred and George's lives, but I will have to simply be pleased enough to see them get a happy alternative ending here, instead! It really was enjoyable from top to bottom; from start to finish! Congratulations on both finishing your entry on time and making it such an adorable little story on top of that!

Tanya ^.^

Author's Response: Hi! Wow! This is a really long review, it was completely awesome!! Thank you so so much!!

I'm so glad that you liked it and the names too! It was tough finding the names, but once I saw those two they fit so perfectly. Mrs. Weasley mixing the names up was actually the first real scene I thought of!

Thanks! I'm so glad that you liked all of those little details!

As for when I said the comment about the girls being opposites of the boys, I meant that Aziza does finish Akila's sentences. I meant to say that the girls are paired up with the twin that compliments them, without outright saying it. I can see how that'd be a bit confusing.

As for the semi-colons, I'll definitely look into it. Thanks for pointing that out!!

Thanks for the review! It was absolutely lovely!!

xoxo Sarah


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